Chal do na saath mere...

I reckon the title of my blog (ROFL) is soon going to go obsolete, the rate at which the seriousness in my blog is increasing. I am scared that I am losing my ability to find humour in everything !

Anyway, this blog is a consequence of  my mind's palaver that came up as I was helping my niece with her homework on 'Means of Transport'. And ironically, travelling is the only thing that helps me quieten the palaver of my head! This post talks about the same. How various means of commuting keep me from getting stranded, not just literally but metaphorically too.

• Walking
  walking has always been my greatest respite whenever I feel frustrated. It has perhaps got something to do with release of oxytocin into your body when you perspire; I feel fantastic after a 30-minutes walk. Moreover, it helps clear my thoughts and gives me a fresh perspective to see things from. My preferred style of a rejuvenating walk is leaving behind all my stuff esp phone at home making myself unreachable and walking alone, without any earphones inserted into my ears, enjoying the serenity of nature. Silence is the law of nature - trees grow in silence; the sun moves in silence. And that is how I unplug myself from the world - solitude, silence and solace. 

I grow silent. Dear soul, you speak.
~ Rumi

• Cycling
  When I learnt how to ride a cycle, I heard this profound philosophy -
  
  life is like riding a bicycle; to keep your balance, you must keep moving forward.
  Of course, I didn't understand it back then. All I enjoyed was the fierce rush of wind on my face as I rode at a breathtaking speed. While cycling, I always feel like the captain of my life - speed, direction, brakes, everything is under my control. And the secret power that I derive from the realisation that I actually AM the master of my life is enough to move mountains.

Walk out of any doorway
Feel your way, feel your way
Like the day before
maybe you'll find direction
around some corner
where it's been waiting to meet you.

• Car
  Being an amateur driver, I don't trust myself with cars. So I always ask my brother to take me for a late night long drive whenever I feel the need... the need for speed. The reckless 120kmph, no red lights, no traffic and the wide roads of Dwarka - recipe of adrenaline rush. Believe me, the thrill of speed helps overcome ANY kind of fear.

• Train
  The feel of Jab We Met !
  The best part about a train journey is how it helps you get over the past - when you sit at a window seat and look out at the picturesque scenery that is constantly being left behind as the train moves forward, you realise that life is pretty much like a train journey. You board a train, meet people along the way who have their own journeys to undertake, they will each accompany you a little before getting down at their respective destinations, you will leave so many stations and even more people behind in order to reach your ultimate destination. And the most baffling part is that once you reach there, you will realise that it is not the destination but the journey that matters and has made all the difference.
  And you never know that you might bump into your Aditya Kashayap while on a train ! :D

• Aeroplane
  A plane journey is a levitating experience, in every sense of the word. Although I find travelling on a plane quite boring, I cannot deny that it helps me rise above pettiness - as the air plane takes off, I find that I am leaving all my problems back on Earth and am rising above all the average things! It is a very abrupt feeling. I suddenly feel that my horizon has widened as much as the vast sky and every problem seems trivial, I feel powerful and capable to rise above everything and reach the sky, Trust me, the feeling is very liberating. If ever you feel bogged down by the burden of expectations or responsibilities or life in general, take a flight and fly away from everything for a while. It will unquestionably lift you up and your spirits!

• Cruise
  This is in bucket list. I am going to write about it once I tick this item off the list.
  I am pretty sure that there can be no better pleasure than sailing smoothly with the sound of sea accompanying you.

Life is about moving and constantly moving on. It is like a river- remember that stagnant water will always breed mosquitoes and become unhealthy and polluted. That is why my mantra for life is just let everything happen at its own pace and to never hang or cling onto anything; keep going with the flow. Keep walking.

Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon... bas rukna nahi chahta.
#yeh jawaani hai deewani

The Aftermath.

I have been meaning to write this blog ever since my exams ended (phew!) but I could not muster the strength. Taking the CA final exams is, frankly, a mind-fucking business. 
It was mentally so gruesome that it has been almost one month but I still get up in the middle of night imagining that I overslept and missed my exam!

I have no qualms about admitting that these exams have changed my very essence. I don't know how exactly to put it into words. It is like the person I was before exams (Pre - Surbhi) has been kidnapped by the person the mirror now shows me after exams (Post - Surbhi).
I think this is one of the tragedies of post-exams that after being bullied by an external force to continuously study, for so long, I am now suddenly facing a void that I don't know what to fill with. With the exams, I, at least had an excuse for ignoring everything else but, now, everything that I relegated to the back-burner for almost 2 years is staring back at me with a big question mark spread over its face. And what's worse, Pre - Surbhi had answers  for this but Post-Surbhi doesn't. I mean, ideally, this is the time I should be working upon building my skills - updating myself with GST, jazzing up my CV and most importantly, being fit again. But this blank, unmotivated mind is being more of an anchor, weighing me down, keeping me from my pursuits. The enigmatic part is that I don't know the why/how of this state of my mind; I am sitting on the edge of a precipice looking down at Pre- Surbhi drowning in the river below.




I am suddenly reminded of this pet dog in my nephew's neighbourhood. Its name is Buzo. It is the laziest dog I have ever seen. I have never seen it doing anything except eating or sleeping. It doesn't even care to bark at any passerby. This is how exhausted my mind is post-exams. I don't care to do ANYTHING. (Hey, wait. Did I just compare myself to a dog? See what I meant by my fatigued mind?)

I wrote this Hindi poem to do justice to the state of standstill that I find myself in. This is the first time I tried my hand at Hindi poetry. It was written sometime back but I still haven't been able to think of a title for it. (Also, ignore the typos which came up while converting it to devnaagri.)

कभी कभी खुद से मैं यूँ बतियाती हूँ
दिन भर की धूपछाँव , ज़िंदगी की दौड़ भाग से दूर
निशा के शांत पहर में खुद को मैं समझाती हू
पग पग चल, गिर कर संभल कर, 99 कोस चली मैं
इस आखरी पग पर फिर मैं क्यूँ घबराती हूँ
क्या हुई राह मुश्किल या है कम होती हिम्मत का ये कसूर
जो सामने खड़ी मंज़िल और अपने बीच एक अथाह समुंदर मैं पाती हूँ
सामने दिखता क्यूँ अंधेरा, क्यूँ डूबता हुआ सूरज
मुसीबत अर्चन के पहाड़ के आगे खुद को क्यूँ कमज़ोर मैं पाती हूँ
रात के ये सन्नाटे, ये गहराइयाँ, ये ख़ौफ़ के तिमिर निर्लज्ज
खुद मैं जानूं या खुदा मेरा जाने ऐसे में कैसे मैं अपने हृदय में हौंसले के दीप जलाती हूँ
रोज़ सपने में आती है नन्ही सुरभि और करती सवाल मुझसे एक ही वो
क्या तुम जहाँ हो वहाँ खुश हो?
और बदले मैं उससे प्रश्न एक मैं भी उठती हूँ
क्या मैं वो हूँ 20 साल बाद तुम बनना चाहती हो जो?
अपने नयनों में बड़ी हैरांनियाँ लिए वो कहती नही मैं तुम्हे नहीं पहचानती
पर मेरी आँखो में छाती उदासी देख है एकदम वो खामोशी से यूँ कहती
फिर भी ना जाने क्यूँ लगती तुम कोई अपनी, मैं तुमपे भरोसा करना चाहती हूँ
तो बेखौफ़ हो कर बढ़ो बस आगे, अब दूर नही मंज़िल पास है किनारा
भले तुम वो ना हो जिसका सपना मैने देखा
मगर हो उससे बेहतर, निडर और साहसी
मैं बड़े हो कर तुम्हारे जैसी ही बनना चाहती हूँ

Nevertheless, nothing, esp an exam, can keep me from my awesomeness for long, the Barney Stinson that I am.

I treated myself with a movie spree. I have been doing nothing but watching movies, striking them off one by one from my pending-movies list. From Dil Chahta Hai to Talvar, from The Dark Knight Rises to Fifty Shades of Grey, I left no genre untouched. I watched about 15 movies in two weeks, before resuming my office.

I also visited my aunt after almost 2 years. It was the train journey, the aimless evening walks and the reckless scooty- rides that finally pepped up my spirits and provided a much needed respite from the farrago of my mind.

P.S.

Apologies for the sheer non-sense that this post is.

It was difficult getting back to blogging after so many months! I shall try to write a better and a more meaningful post the next time.