On the other side of 25.

They say age is just a number... a matter of mind... if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. But in our country and society, age serves as standards against which your wisdom and important life- decisions are measured. 25 is a difficult number - You are done with your college and have a job, you are legally allowed to drink; it is an age where you are assumed to have acquired maturity but are not experienced enough to take life-altering decisions.

Here is how your life changes once you are on the other side of 25 -

1. Settle ho jao,beta.

Notwithstanding the fact that you might have an emotional range of a teaspoon, maturity level of a 2.5 years old, but if you are on the other side of 25, you got to answer your relatives on why you are not thinking to settle down yet. You are constantly suggested proposals, your family suddenly wants to be your 'friend' and wants you to share everything with them; the mere fact that you are on the other side of 25 is reason enough for you to settle down in life because you have no better thing to do! Even as I type this, there is somebody sitting in our drawing room giving out an invitation for wedding, mentioning the myriad of functions they are hosting (read shelling out lakhs). I don't have a problem with people getting married but I have issues when they force that decision on others - arre bhai, tumko karni hai karo, hame kyu bol rahe ho... hame jab karni hogi hum khud dekh lenge! Go, mind your own business!

2. The dreaded 'First Gray Hair'

You can have oodles of protein in your diet but the stress and pollution will wreck havoc and your body will start showing first sign of degeneration in the form of gray hair! I used to be obnoxiously proud of my thick, lustrous hair but once I saw that strand of gray, I panicked and started all sorts of remedies. FYI, nothing has helped. I guess, we just have to accept it.

3. Facebook

There is a wedding-wave going on FB, I open my account and a friend gets married. Another problem with FB these days is the older generation getting suddenly tech-savvy and hyper-active on social media. Of course, we are all free to do whatever we want in our country but adding your Aunts and Uncles is not a good idea in a country like India because your Facebook accounts are scourged to look for potential marriageable materials in your profile - somehow the comments from a certain XYZ are enough for your family to conclude that something might be brewing. You have to change your privacy settings because your friends tag you in posts that might be considered objectionable by Sharma Aunty from your neighbourhood who doesn't battle an eyelid before shouting it out in front of your parents!

4. Sunday, tum kab aaoge?

I crave for weekends like lovers pine for each other.  Sunday is to me as a donut is to a to-be-bride on her diet, a curvy colleague is to a married guy, 40 marks are to a CA student - Bhagwaan! ye dila do bas. After enduring office and its stress in form of politics and deadlines, Sunday is the sacred place we all sincerely pray for. I don't know how can some people move their asses out of bed to malls; For me, Sunday means sleeping and binge-watching. Well, to each, his/her own but the bottom line is that this day is the brightest day of the week and I am not saying this because it is named after the brightest star!

A few things that never change, no matter which side of 25 you're on -

a) Acne !

Oily skin combined with tendency to get high levels of stress without realising results in this irksome forever-buddy called acne! From as long as I can remember, I have had serious acne issues. I envy people who have clean and clear skin in their genes.... I mean with negligible effort, they achieve that flawless skin while I battle a zit each week.

b) Harry Potter

Everything in life might be going awry, but this faithful ally has stood by me... giving me hope, nourishing my soul with the warmth of its essence - love and friendship, breathing in me the belief that things set out right in the end if you are brave enough to face the adversities and that "help will always be given to those who ask for it!"
If anything has touched my soul to the core, it's this wonderful story. <3
Some people often term it as fandom, addiction or kiddish behaviour but this story is a part of who I am.

c) Letting Go

I have realised that each passing day is an act of letting go... at the end of the day, only when I let go of the events of the day, I am able to shut down my brain and sleep. As a kid, letting go meant losing a toy or a game. It was easy and didn't bother me much as the next day meant a new toy or a game. As an adult, letting go has taken an altogether different perspective. You got to let go of people, sometimes your dreams and your emotions.The hardest is to say goodbye to people you treasured the most due to various uncontrollable factors like death, distance or apathy. It is not some summer vacation kind of goodbye - when your school reopens, you get to meet the same people again. This one is permanent and can't be undone. 

The constant thing about the art of letting go is that twinge of pain you feel in your heart and the fact that it teaches you to be on your own since nothing here is permanent. 

d) Best friends - insulting you was/is/will forever be their birthright.

Sometimes, when Earth runs out on good things, God sends out little angels (read devils) in form of your best friends. And I want to thank Him for bombing down my favourite people who have been my constant support, no matter how much I screw up or am rude to them or take my frustration out on them or not talk to them for days. I want you all to know that you matter A LOT and I just can't do without you all. Thanks for being there (even if it was for making fun of me most of the time!!) and I appreciate your presence the most even if I don't ever say it!



Often the cause of stress with ageing is not being able to be the version you had thought you'd be by that age and your peers achieving better than you. But life isn't about who reaches the finishing line first because finishing line in this case means The End... on the contrary, it is about the journey... what comes out of this wonderful journey is what stays with you till the end. So, with another year coming to closure, I think it is the best time to bury the stress and begin the ensuing year with a new vigour and promise to self to just be with the flow and let the Lord decide what's the best course of action and more importantly, the right time for that course!
Cheers!

My Perpetual Perplexity and the Poppycock of Pettifogging People.

The title was not supposed to be so preposterous but then I got pissed and a mad and a frustrated Surbhi Makkar is a dangerous specie, everyone is aware of that fact.


You may ask why I was frustrated in the first place.
TL;DR : CA
The whole story : I have my exams coming up. And the course is so vast that it would put Pacific Ocean to shame. And I was forced to do this balderdash called Advanced IT Training. Some notification was passed this year that made it mandatory for students appearing for their final exams in Nov 2015 to do this training before the end of July. There are just three centers providing the same (Initially there was just one but thankfully it was extended later to three centers). Consequently, there was a mad rush to register for the same as everyone wanted to do it and get over with it asap. I and my friend left early in the morning to avoid wasting time waiting in the queue. But when we reached the institute, we found around 50 people standing in the queue already. We waited for the office to open while the queue behind us got longer, reminding me of Rajiv Chowk Metro Station. Nevertheless, we got our forms after waiting for 1.5 hours. But the battle had just begun. There was another queue for the submission of the forms. We stood for hours in the sultry heat, drenched in sweat, badly tanned, terribly hungry, (in my case alone) eating back my favourite brand of swear words, and finally got ourselves registered for, according to me, a training of no use whatsoever. We were again supposed to come to the institute to collect the confirmation later. 2 days, 48 hours down the drain.

Finally, the training began and ended after 25 days. I don't even have the patience to write about the training - the sheer waste of time and energy it was. Not to mention the two module tests, a project and a group presentation, an online test that I was supposed to clear to get the certificate that stated that I had successfully completed the Advanced (I)rrational (T)otal (T)ime-waste.

Points to be noted :

• The humongous amount of course and 25 days of nonsense of the institute's tyranny right before the exams.
• The unbearable heat and humidity and pollution and sweat resulting in worsening of my skin eruption.

So, I got the certificate.
Now, I had a social obligation coming up. Albeit the fact that I simply hate to attend any social gatherings, I knew I wouldn't miss this one. It was the birthday party of my favourite person in the world. But I also knew of the mindless questions that awaited me there. I think I should give a bit of background here first - 
Last year, I got this allergy which I thought was because of my hectic routine and the pollution that I faced daily while on audit in Okhla (those who have seen this industrial area would understand) but it exacerbated to a major skin eruption and I had to consult a dermatologist. She attributed it to stress. It turned out to be pretty serious; I am still recuperating - I got red marks all over my face.
More than the painful eruptions, I was sick of people looking at the pimples while talking to me. I ain't the one to fuss over looks much but wherever I went, I got not a hello or hi but a lot of stares at my infestation along with "what's with the pimples/ try this try that/ this doctor is the best/ yuck, what have you done to your face/ ew, you  look absolutely gross" and the list is endless. I felt totally helpless. I hate explaining or answering questions that are unnecessary but with this eruption, I found myself bombarded with useless queries ranging from my diet to make-up (make-up? seriously? Surbhi Makkar and make-up are oxymoron and my so-called make-up box includes just a sunscreen. But how many people do I keep explaining this to? It was frustrating.) and of course, suggestions like cleanup, facepacks and stuff (If advising could earn revenue, India would have the highest GDP; everybody is busy advising everybody here.)
But I admit that I tried a few rational 'suggestions' out of desperation - I included Safi and Aloe Vera juice in my diet, bid adieu to sugar in my bournvita, started having green tea. But my coaching and office and stuff in general wreck havoc and things kept going out of hands. It was awful.
But now that coaching got over and I didn't have such a hectic schedule, I thought it would clear up. It WAS clearing up but then this IT training happened and I had to celebrate such a 'pimpled' birthday. Everybody, every single soul (including my family) kept pointing out at the pimples : even if it was out of concern,  I hated the way their eyes moved over the pimples. Well, everybody except one person. My favourite person. I am his favourite too, you see. It didn't matter to him that I had acne all over my face, Manan still wanted to play with me, talk to me without asking or wondering about the pimples. And people ask me why I absolutely adore this kid ; He has been the apple of my eyes since the day he was born. So, I knew I would not miss the special day that God sent me this little gift even if it meant that I had to endure shit from the guests present in the party.

It was a kids' party but there were a few relatives present too that included the dreaded creature - Typical Punjabi Aunties (referred to as TPA hereinafter)

[ what I think inside my head] ; what I say

TPA: Surbhi!

S [why the fuck, did you spot me] Namaste AuntyJi

TPA: Haww, ye ki keeta tu chehre nu?!  (What have you done to your face?)

S [yeah, I bred pimples in my secret lab and then put them on my face and infected them with a virus so that anybody who points out at them shall suffer the same fate] : CA ki tension hai, Auntyji, aur kuch nahi.

TPA : toh CA ki tension kya aise bahar nikal ri hai? Doctor nu kyu ni vikahaya tu? Chehra toh dekh kya haal ho rakha hai! Shaadi kaun karega aise terse?! CA kar ke kya khaali baithegi ghar pe?! Multaani Mitti laga, haldi chandan laga, aise toh sara chehre pe nishaan reh jayenge.

S [ Virat Kohli inspired @^#*@)!%!&@ ; how do they link everything to shaadi? I have always been amazed by their talent]  hanji, Auntyji... chal rahi hai medicine. 

TPA : oily khana band kar de...chal hun bhatura pass kar!

#1facepalm


I have been enduring such crap since July last year. Imagine my frustration...

Dear People (esp TPA)

Acne is deeper than it appears; it comes with an emotional trauma. Try NOT to do these things if you ever meet an acne- inflicted soul - 

• Looking at the pimples and not the eyes when the person is talking. It makes them highly conscious and they start feeling crappy.
• Start suggesting doctors and treatments without their asking you for the same.
• Ask them stupid questions like - Don't you wash your face?
• Start tormenting them with things like - the pimples would leave permanent scars.

If you really want to help, just try to act like you can't see the pimples even if they are highly conspicuous. Try to see the person beyond his/her face - there is more to a person than just looks. If they talk about it to you at all, say encouraging things - there is improvement, it will soon clear up. Be like Manan - accept people without judging them based on their looks or attire or anything for that matter.

Speaking of Manan and his birthday party, I can't help but share this anecdote - 

My 4 years old niece Agamya telling  me how to pose for a pic - 

"B tujhe toh pose krna bhi nahi aata. Aise karte hain *she pouts* dekha nahi hai kya tune sari good girls phone ke aage aise kr ri hoti hai"

#2facepalm

P.s. I shall add her pouting-pictures once I have them. :D