शादी कब करोगे ?

Disclaimer : There is no intention to hurt any community or religion or person with this post. All characters and names are fictional and any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental.

A respectable HIGH STATUS industrialist family of Mumbai seeks alliance for their smart, good looking, EXTREMELY beautiful, charming, cultured daughter. Looking for a professionally qualified boy hailing from high status, well established, CULTURED business family.

That's an advertisement from a matrimony page of a famous newspaper. Shadi (Somehow, marriage doesn't give the same emotions as Shadi!) season is back and so is my frustration. This is my third blog on shadi and somehow my frustration has increased manifold with each post! 

I don't have any problem with the concept of shadi per se but it is the big hullabaloo created by our society around this 'sacred union of two souls' that leaves me exasperated. If one could have simply a sign-and-done kind of marriage instead of having elaborate functions with dress codes, I wouldn't mind it much!

The shadi industry is one of the few industries which is immune to recession; petty issues like global economic slowdown can't mar the spirits of your relatives who want absolutely nothing than to see you in a marital bliss. How your marriage affects your mamiji's brother's neighbour's grandparents is a mystery to me but they will still suggest your parents to marry you off because THEY consider it right! And once you decide to get married, it's just the blur of functions that you are going to have to count using a calculator. And I don't know if it's just a Punjabi family thing but the grander the arrangements, the better your image in your society. This again leaves me completely nonplussed because shelling out 25lacs on a single night is moronic!  The YOLO (you only live once) trend further propagated by SRK in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai that shadi ek bar hoti hai has made Indian weddings from grand to outrageously grand -

1. Ostentatious

One of my friends broke open her bank balance for her wedding lehnga. It was undoubtedly beautiful but is there any point in shelling out lakhs for something that is only one-time wear? If only she had spent more time talking and knowing her beau than she spent on that lehnga, she might not have to file for a divorce months later!

2. Destination wedding

This new trend has been picking up with Indian couples quite a lot. My FB was flooded with a cruise wedding the other day while another one showed a wedding in Thailand. From simply taking vows in a temple to destination weddings, Indians have definitely notched up their choices! All this show off and no patience for each other, why have such a hollow marriage?

3. Pre-wedding shoots

I don't know who invented this innovative concept but it's been exploited by the photography industry like never before! The other day, one of my colleagues showed me what she called was her announcement picture. I got confused and asked if it was her version of pre-wedding! She told me that a decade back, people used to go to the photo studio and got clicked their pictures in specific poses to announce their wedding! From those tiny studios, the wedding shoots have moved on to exotic locations like Italy and Dubai. I do hope that pre-marriage communication also gets just as popular so that we are able to nurture caring and meaningful relationships!

4. Series of Functions

People surely spend their entire savings on weddings! From Roka to Shadi, the bride and the groom have to endure at least a hundred ceremonies, each more extravagant than the other! Add to it, the Indian brand drama of relatives - hame kisi ne pucha nahi, hame nahi bulaya th toh hum kyu bulayein unhe; the functions become a total nightmare! And God save you, if you somehow are unable to attend the wedding, people will treat you with a contempt so bad that no apology will erase their prejudice against you! the only people who really enjoy a wedding are friends and cousins who dance their hearts out!

I might come across as a melodramatic wedding critic but believe me I am not as cruel as it appears to be. I am just a little limited with people I share my important personal events with. So all this extravaganza associated with wedding makes me both nauseous and scared, confused and flabbergasted at the way people just drown all their savings for a single event.  I am in no manner against people holding a lavish wedding or suggesting in any way that grand weddings are in any way associated with marriage not being a success; I simply believe that the day is important to YOU so you alone have the right to decide how you want to make it happen. Some prefer the pomp and show while I am one of those who would prefer a silent court marriage and a month long travel around the world to celebrate it. To each, his/her own! 

If only, I could hold a swayamvar and put these conditions for the probable suitors - 

1. Must be a great travel freak.

2. Knowledge and love for Harry Potter is a prerequisite.

3. Must be willing for a silent, no non-sense marriage and spend all that money saved from extravagant affairs of shadi on point#1.

4.Handle the relatives and their taunts for committing the so-called social crime enlisted in point#3

5. Say 'Surbhi is the best' 10 times a day, with or without any reason. 😁

So, anyone for a date? 😆

On the other side of 25.

They say age is just a number... a matter of mind... if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. But in our country and society, age serves as standards against which your wisdom and important life- decisions are measured. 25 is a difficult number - You are done with your college and have a job, you are legally allowed to drink; it is an age where you are assumed to have acquired maturity but are not experienced enough to take life-altering decisions.

Here is how your life changes once you are on the other side of 25 -

1. Settle ho jao,beta.

Notwithstanding the fact that you might have an emotional range of a teaspoon, maturity level of a 2.5 years old, but if you are on the other side of 25, you got to answer your relatives on why you are not thinking to settle down yet. You are constantly suggested proposals, your family suddenly wants to be your 'friend' and wants you to share everything with them; the mere fact that you are on the other side of 25 is reason enough for you to settle down in life because you have no better thing to do! Even as I type this, there is somebody sitting in our drawing room giving out an invitation for wedding, mentioning the myriad of functions they are hosting (read shelling out lakhs). I don't have a problem with people getting married but I have issues when they force that decision on others - arre bhai, tumko karni hai karo, hame kyu bol rahe ho... hame jab karni hogi hum khud dekh lenge! Go, mind your own business!

2. The dreaded 'First Gray Hair'

You can have oodles of protein in your diet but the stress and pollution will wreck havoc and your body will start showing first sign of degeneration in the form of gray hair! I used to be obnoxiously proud of my thick, lustrous hair but once I saw that strand of gray, I panicked and started all sorts of remedies. FYI, nothing has helped. I guess, we just have to accept it.

3. Facebook

There is a wedding-wave going on FB, I open my account and a friend gets married. Another problem with FB these days is the older generation getting suddenly tech-savvy and hyper-active on social media. Of course, we are all free to do whatever we want in our country but adding your Aunts and Uncles is not a good idea in a country like India because your Facebook accounts are scourged to look for potential marriageable materials in your profile - somehow the comments from a certain XYZ are enough for your family to conclude that something might be brewing. You have to change your privacy settings because your friends tag you in posts that might be considered objectionable by Sharma Aunty from your neighbourhood who doesn't battle an eyelid before shouting it out in front of your parents!

4. Sunday, tum kab aaoge?

I crave for weekends like lovers pine for each other.  Sunday is to me as a donut is to a to-be-bride on her diet, a curvy colleague is to a married guy, 40 marks are to a CA student - Bhagwaan! ye dila do bas. After enduring office and its stress in form of politics and deadlines, Sunday is the sacred place we all sincerely pray for. I don't know how can some people move their asses out of bed to malls; For me, Sunday means sleeping and binge-watching. Well, to each, his/her own but the bottom line is that this day is the brightest day of the week and I am not saying this because it is named after the brightest star!

A few things that never change, no matter which side of 25 you're on -

a) Acne !

Oily skin combined with tendency to get high levels of stress without realising results in this irksome forever-buddy called acne! From as long as I can remember, I have had serious acne issues. I envy people who have clean and clear skin in their genes.... I mean with negligible effort, they achieve that flawless skin while I battle a zit each week.

b) Harry Potter

Everything in life might be going awry, but this faithful ally has stood by me... giving me hope, nourishing my soul with the warmth of its essence - love and friendship, breathing in me the belief that things set out right in the end if you are brave enough to face the adversities and that "help will always be given to those who ask for it!"
If anything has touched my soul to the core, it's this wonderful story. <3
Some people often term it as fandom, addiction or kiddish behaviour but this story is a part of who I am.

c) Letting Go

I have realised that each passing day is an act of letting go... at the end of the day, only when I let go of the events of the day, I am able to shut down my brain and sleep. As a kid, letting go meant losing a toy or a game. It was easy and didn't bother me much as the next day meant a new toy or a game. As an adult, letting go has taken an altogether different perspective. You got to let go of people, sometimes your dreams and your emotions.The hardest is to say goodbye to people you treasured the most due to various uncontrollable factors like death, distance or apathy. It is not some summer vacation kind of goodbye - when your school reopens, you get to meet the same people again. This one is permanent and can't be undone. 

The constant thing about the art of letting go is that twinge of pain you feel in your heart and the fact that it teaches you to be on your own since nothing here is permanent. 

d) Best friends - insulting you was/is/will forever be their birthright.

Sometimes, when Earth runs out on good things, God sends out little angels (read devils) in form of your best friends. And I want to thank Him for bombing down my favourite people who have been my constant support, no matter how much I screw up or am rude to them or take my frustration out on them or not talk to them for days. I want you all to know that you matter A LOT and I just can't do without you all. Thanks for being there (even if it was for making fun of me most of the time!!) and I appreciate your presence the most even if I don't ever say it!



Often the cause of stress with ageing is not being able to be the version you had thought you'd be by that age and your peers achieving better than you. But life isn't about who reaches the finishing line first because finishing line in this case means The End... on the contrary, it is about the journey... what comes out of this wonderful journey is what stays with you till the end. So, with another year coming to closure, I think it is the best time to bury the stress and begin the ensuing year with a new vigour and promise to self to just be with the flow and let the Lord decide what's the best course of action and more importantly, the right time for that course!
Cheers!

The Grey Fur Jacket.

It was such a strange place... I had an eerie silence engulfing me... It was neither too dark nor too bright, just enough light for everything to be visible... but where was everything? Where was everybody? What is this place? What am I doing here? How did I end up here? It was just space...plain, blank space.

I remember reading about my friend's untimely and unexplained demise in the newspaper and the shock of seeing somebody on front page of the newspaper for being found dead just like that was too much for me to bear... especially because that somebody happened to be my class-partner in 9th who never wrote a word in any bio lecture but always asked for my notes the moment the lecture got over...Once when the bio lecture got over, before he could ask me for my notebook, I offered him my notes ("here...I know, you are going to ask me for this", I smirked)... the silent and taciturn kid that I was, he was surprised at my cheek but laughed out...I then asked him lightly why couldn't he take his own notes to which he answered that he preferred to focus entirely on listening to what the teacher was saying and "besides, you write everything anyway so why should I bother", he smirked back at me. I couldn't help but laugh. And that is how I remember him - excessively intelligent, supremely confident and extremely witty.  So reading about his death in TOI left me shell-shocked... and when I could no longer bear my throbbing head, bleeding heart, crying soul, I left everything and tried to sleep... 
So this must be a dream, I vaguely wondered... but am I supposed to be aware that I am dreaming? This is bizarre.

I suddenly sensed a movement around me and spun around immediately... Somebody was approaching me...I felt a jolt of terror when I noticed the big silvery grey robes covering the figure from head to toe... now the figure was standing right in front of me...who are you, I murmured... to which the figure responded by uncovering its hood and I gasped...
All I could manage was to stare... at those eyes filled with sheer affection for me... that smiling face that I missed terribly... 
After perhaps minutes or may be hours, I wasn't sure of the time, my mind began to argue with the absurdity of what and who I was looking at... how could this be? As if sensing my bewilderment, the figure spoke - It's okay, you are not dead or insane.
I did not answer immediately but merely gazed at the figure, wondering what on Earth was happening. Did I read too much of Harry Potter and this was King's Cross?
The figure laughed out and said smilingly, "No, this isn't King's Cross and neither is this insides of the Mirror of Erised because I know I am what you'd see when you look at it.
Feeling pools of tears building inside my eyes, I took some steadying breaths. Finally, after ages it seemed, I spoke - how do you always know what I am thinking? The figure merely smiled but did not answer.
I asked - what is this place? Is this where you live now? The figure said- Yes and No. I don't live here but I have come here because you are here and you desperately wanted to see me. I know you are stricken because of your batch-mate and needed help. You have lost too many people this year. And I know that you would never speak to anybody else of your deep emotional pain so here I am.
I tried to process the indigestible information and simultaneously accept the fact,with a pang, that whatever I was seeing was surely not true and that I was losing my marbles.
The figure spoke again, "You must have noticed that I can hear your thoughts since this is inside you; I am inside you. You need to accept the fact that what's gone will not come back physically but there is another dimension that most people are unaware of. You will always find what you think you have lost within the confines of that dimension. This is that dimension. If you want proof, here it is - 
And I suddenly noticed that I was surrounded by more people wearing similar attire and gentle smiles - people I had thought I had lost and missed too much for me to bear. They all looked at me with pure love that was so palpable that I could feel the warmth enveloping me. I was stupidly looking from one face to the other, afraid of not seeing them enough when I had the chance. I wanted to hold them all, scared that I would lose them all over again. I could feel a weird heaviness around my heart  - half joy, half sorrow. And before I knew, thick tears started to fall from my eyes,washing away years of pain of my soul. For once, I didn't try to hide my tears, I wasn't ashamed of going into pieces because of my emotional weakness. I wasn't aware of falling onto my knees or of the gentle arms around me that had held me all the time. It was back like earlier times again; I was a kid again and the tragedies might not have happened at all and everything was back to normal- simple, carefree, uncomplicated life. They did not stop me but let me continue with my catharsis.
After what felt like hours, I controlled myself and looked up. They had all gone except the first figure, holding me in its arms.
The figure made me stand up. We began to walk. And talk.
"Can I stay here with you?", I asked though I knew what the answer was going to be.
"No"
"Why not?", I asked.
"Because it is not the right thing to do. I am here to make you understand that you need to stop dwelling over things too much. It is not in your power to change things. Your over-thinking will not make any difference. Everybody has his/her journey to make and you have your own. I know it is difficult but do not mull so much over what/why/how of others' journey please. You are aware that some things affect you more than others but you ought to know that they do not concern you so let go of them before they destroy you."
I nodded.
Suddenly I blurted out," If I have to let go of everything in the end why do I do anything? Why strive to achieve my goals? Why dream big? Look at my batch-mates. I lost two of them in the same year. It is all going to end anyway."
"Because to put a full stop, you need to write a sentence first.", said the figure simply.
The simplicity with which the wisdom was put shook my mind. I was left contemplating over the sagacious words said to me.
The figure took out something from beneath the robes and asked me to wear it. I immediately knew what it was- the grey fur jacket that I loved dearly as a kid. I reminisced fondly that I always got compliments whenever I wore it. It was nice and cozy; It was my favourite jacket. But what was it doing here? Surely this was some joke - how would a jacket that I wore as a 10years old kid, fit a 23years old adult? Besides, I clearly remember giving that jacket to our maid's daughter. How did it come here? But to my utter surprise, it was here AND it fitted me well enough.
What was happening?? The place seemed unearthly silent. The impossibility of everything that was happening was beginning to cloud my sanity. And my senses too; I could notice the lines around the figure blurring. I could hear weird sounds coming from around me. People? Things being moved?



And suddenly I was lying on my bed. Another dream. It was a strange dream. But it felt so real. I lay in bed for a long time trying to remember what I had seen.

Finally, I got out of bed. I saw my brother shifting stuff from one room to another. That explained at least the weird sounds in the dream if not anything else! Ever since he got back from hostel, he has been trying to fit his stuff in the house. When I approached him, he threw something at me and said that he found it while clearing the room.
It was the grey fur jacket.





RIP Sarvy.

Ek Pal Niche Nazar hai, Ek Pal Upar Nazar Hai.

If you really sincerely want something, nature grants you- I'd heard a lot of people bandying about this philosophy but never could relate to it till last week.

Having reached my nodus tollens (The realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don't understand), there was always an unfamiliar frustration building up inside me. The insane questions like 'why am I here' or 'what am I supposed to do with my life' kept bugging me ALL.THE.TIME.

As you get older, you find that life begins to wear you down. Doesn't matter who you are or what you do, it happens. Experience, time, events - they all conspire against you to steal away your energy, to erode your confidence, to make you question things you wouldn't have given a second thought to when you were young. It happens gradually, a chipping away that you don't even notice at first, and then one day it's there. You wake up and you just don't have the fire anymore. When your mind keeps hankering about the past, it gets stuck in negativity and begins to rot...and that was what I felt was happening to me..

And when it reached the apex, when I could not handle it alone myself, I surrendered..I asked for help...and it was showered on me by The Almighty in a jiffy.

My office people planned for Maa Vaishno Devi Yatra...It is believed that nobody can undertake the yatra until Maa wishes him/her to...but what I didn't know was that She hears the plea instantly before even you voice it out...in my case, She definitely did...

Situated at a height of 5300 ft. the site is located inside a cave a midst the folds of the Trikuta Bhagwati hill in the state of J&K. This cave temple is at  distance of 61 Kms from jammu and the last 13 Kms of the yatra have to be walked on foot. Once at the entrance to the cave, the path turns into a narrow tunnel with Charan Ganga running through it. The pilgrim has to wade through this to reach the sanctum sanctorum.

Each step that I took for the arduous yet beautiful journey, each drop of sweat that fell while walking,dancing the way up to the top of the hill felt heavenly...because bit by bit, it was relieving me of my frustration, my eternal restlessness and negativity...It was like somebody was untying the knots inside , opening me to my own self...yes, my muscles ached, my legs screamed to simply stop and sit down but something also kept me going...I don't know it was the hum of "jai maata di" giving me energy to keep going or the Maata herself pulling me towards bliss...

As I walked step by step, I was reminded of my my favorite verses of one of the poems by Harivansh Rai Bachchan - 

एक कोने में हृदय के आग तेरे जल रही है

देखने को मग तुझे जलना पड़ेगा ही मुसाफिर

साँस चलती है तुझे चलना पड़ेगा ही मुसाफिर

The whole journey epitomises faith...If anybody doesn't believe in power of faith, he/she ought to undertake this mind-boggling yatra...Everybody and anybody you meet on your way towards bhavan says "Jai Maata Di". There are dholwalahs playing dhol and everybody just joins in the celebration of "Jai Maata Di", the travelers on a cosmic journey,swirling and dancing in the whirlpools of infinity who have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to share this joy.

It is sheer bliss..You feel that people,circumstances, events suddenly matter no  more and all that is there is the pure truth of this enigmatic higher power which is guiding you, supporting you, giving you a hand...

Since lakhs of devotees visit the place, the old cave is generally kept closed. But this universe is big,vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes—very rarely—impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. When we reached the bhavan, the old cave was opened for the pilgrims..It was so so overwhelming...All my mental and physical fatigue suddenly disappeared...All my worldly worries seemed to be vanquishing by the power of faith...The Charan Ganga soothing my sore body and the grace of Almighty soothing my aching soul, it was an ineffable feeling. All that I could manage was a heartfelt gratitude.

There are umpteen number of memories associated with the journey for which words won't suffice even if I tried articulating them. But I learnt one mantra which this Yatra taught me - Just believe in Almighty, Know that He is there and He will take care of everything for you.

Next we went to PatniTop and NathaTop. And it was a dream come true...I always fantasized about walking down narrow roads of a mountain with snow on both the sides.

It was such a filmy scene...from top to bottom, from left to right,wherever I looked, I saw cotton-like snow...So silent, so beautiful...clear blue sky on top of me, bright white snow all around me...Utopian beauty...whoever says heaven doesn't exist, should visit this place...It left me in awe with beauty that God has created around us...It silenced my mind to the core, it gave deep rest to my soul which I was yearning for so many years...I felt in harmony with nature, with myself.

We spent hours sliding and mindlessly playing in the snow...Climbing on top of the mountain and then sliding back together was indescribable fun...

I finally understand what Ranbir meant when he said - "Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon ... bus rukna nahi chahta"

P.S.

1. I want to thank my Sir because of whom the plan of this trip got accomplished without any hindrance...and also for being so understanding and patient and bearing the nuisance that all of us were and also want to apologize on behalf of all of us if we caused any trouble unintentionally.

2. I want to thank my friends who made this trip memorable for me. The time that I spent with you all is something I am going to cherish for lifetime. Chirag Grover and Shubhangi Kapoor need special mention here for it was on their insistence that I went for this trip.

Odyssey : Adieu 2013

Zendagi Migzara...Life goes on...
With this shittiest albeit the truest philosophy of life, I reach end of another eventful year...2013 has been the craziest year of my life so far...arduously testing my endurance and resilience, it slapped me awake from my slumber to the reality...
But life is such...life is not fair, but life is not fair to everyone. That makes life fair...

"Nobody is gonna hit as hard as life...but it ain't about how hard you hit but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward"

Family, career, friends everything took a new turn...I was left stranded in a completely unfamiliar territory which was a mixture of good and bad...all in all, 2013 showed up a totally different side of Surbhi Makkar...
Here's a flashback of the same-


The WOW side
The farewell ceremony...I was awarded the title of 'Miss Diligent'
(miss diligent? What? How? Why?
In three years of my graduation, I never reached on time for a single class.If I ever managed to attend my first class it was because the teacher was late.
I had never submitted any assignment on time
I skipped most of the class tests
I was often chucked out of classes
I had serious attendance crisis
I used a single register for all the three years
I never even tried to listen to the teacher in the class)

2 weeks before the farewell, when I told people that our college farewell was going to happen soon...

Male members of Makkar family – Surbhi won’t ever attend it

Female members of Makkar family – Surbhi won’t ever attend it

Male friends- Surbhi won’t ever attend it

Female friends- Surbhi won’t ever attend it

When I announced that I wanted to attend the ceremony...
Everybody- WHAT?!? (always the tone of surprise !!!)


When I elaborated further that everybody wears a saree and so would I...
Male members of Makkar family – saree?! Hanger lagegi…giraffe lagegi (hats off for the adjectives used)
Female members – saree?! Hot lagegi…gorgeous lagegi (thank you,pretty ladies)


So began my hunt for the right saree which by the way I wanted to wear low waist :P
After running everywhere to find the right stuff (blouse,accessories,heels) I found myself standing in front of the mirror on the day of the farewell and I could not recognise myself !
I reached college (2hours late,chiding myself for the fact that in the three years that I spent here,I was NEVER on time for any of the classes and I am late even on the last day!)

My observations and experience after the ceremony got over-

1. NOBODY recognised me…the moment I entered the venue,all my friends and classmates kept staring till I finally took a seat and after a long awkward pause when I asked what was wrong,all of them blurted out together “maal lag rahi hai maal…roz kya ban ke aati hai,aj kya lag rahi hai” (for those of you who are not aware of the DU lingo,maal here doesn’t mean stock…it is a vernacular term for femme fatale :P) when I returned home,the door wasn’t opened for me because my family refused to believe that it was me…no hyperbole intended..
2. No matter how seductive it looks,it is a real pain in the ass to wear a saree ! you can’t even walk properly ! I was about to fall ALL.THE.TIME..and I don’t know which Einstein called it to be the traditional dress of India- it’s SO revealing,dude !
3. HEELS !!!
   WHY ?!?
   I can’t walk properly even in flats ! I think that my cerebellum didn't develop only- there is no coordination between my limbs :P
4. I was a total failure while posing for the pics…
   kuch nahi aata surbhi tujhe ladkiyo wala [sic]
   thoda thik se khadi ho jaogi ek baar [sic]

Here is my picture, the middle one is how I normally look and rest of them are in saree...don't I look different?! :P

Though it is out of context but I also learnt an important lesson-never ever play Holi if you have to wear a sari the next week !!! The Murphy-law states that the colour won't come out esp from the face,neck and back and also you will get gulaal-allergy that won’t subside for weeks !(Thank you whoever invented the thing called foundation...you saved me :P)


The sick-of-social-media event
I deactivated my FB...it has been one of my best decisions this year,according to me...it gave me some real peace of mind and helped me reset my priorities...no more fussing over who got into relationship with whom, who got 123456789 likes on his/her DP or "you did not like my pictures" crap from people, like this if you care for India/poor dying/dogs unadopted/WTF requests...apart from nobody wishing me birthday, I think I am not losing out much...so I see no plans of reactivating it in the near future...


The unexpected
With all the personal shit happening, I was pleasantly surprised to score 70% in my final year...it isn't without any reason that I always say-DU,you are the best!


Reality Bites
Articleship...the grilling interviews...and I was at my surbhi-est best...


Interviewer : could you please tell me something about section number 69 ?
Surbhi : sir, I am sorry but I don't remember any of the sections.
Interviewer : why? how are you going to handle all the clients then ?
Surbhi : sir because I feel we can always google them up..you remember them only because you have been applying them here for so many years (this is called babaji ka thullu :P what on earth was I thinking?! )


I need not say that I was chucked out for my brutal honesty.


Next one...SNB...one of the top 20 firms...The director wanted to meet me in person because he loved what I wrote in my essay...after the 40minutes interview that followed, I knew that his daughter was married to some NRI in London and I had also seen his grandson's video in his Iphone4...screw you,Accounting standards/section numbers/audit procedures...this is how real interviews should happen...to make you feel at ease with the company you might soon be joining...and the best part,his words -"you are a champion in my eyes..I give you an opportunity,prove me right"


I was born a moron so I did not join this firm...
But I don't regret it much...I joined a decent enough firm where I have made friends who are perhaps going to last lifetime unless they get pissed off at me for I bug them a lot with my never-ending doubts...September and July were the busiest months, no time to even eat your food properly...I was sent for audit of an export company...it has been a good experience so far...I hope I'll eventually learn the real ca stuff and be a good (read sexy :P) chartered accountant :D


Things you lose have a way of coming back to you
SRCC...my dream college...I could not make it there because of a mere 0.25% (& what was worse was the fact that my best of four was less than my aggregate) it left a deep gaping hole inside my heart and I hated myself for the entire three years when I had to pass right across srcc daily...but destiny works in strange ways...
Lo and behold, I am walking down the lanes of srcc...not as a student but as an auditor...with authority to check any fucking thing in srcc's finance and accounts department...it was a divine feeling :)


Another divine feeling is when people you thought had disappeared from your life because of various enigmatic reasons,like your childhood friends,reappear and brighten up your life with their presence :) To them I want to say "tanik dhanyaavaad" :D ;)


GMCS- an eye opener
It was here that I practically learnt not to judge a book by its cover..that what you see is not always true...people who appear all glittery are not always gold and people you take for silver might in fact be platinum...Jim Corbett is something I shall always cherish :)

The Testing phase
When you lose the last thread that ties you to your existence, life suddenly seems meaningless...when you don't want to be where you are, but you know you'd never want to be anywhere no matter where you are, life looks lost...when hope doesn't matter anymore because it would lead to another hopeless destination...when the days ahead are not necessarily dark, but it doesn't even matter because you no longer have the energy left to face a new day...when there is nothing you look forward to, this is the perpetual state of mind you are in...during such moments I recall my all time favourite words-



and last but not the least,


The bizarre event
This is for the person I have never met in my life...I have never even spoken to this person ever...A friend of mine forwards my picture to this person for some silly reason saying that she is a really amazing person,laughs around a lot and all that bullshit...and the craziest thing I ever heard from a total stranger,this is what that person had to say about me - iske chehre pe hasi hai but andar bahut pain dikhta hai iski eyes se..jaise bahut kuch dekha ho isne zindagi mei...
how,HOW,H.O.W. could you say this about me,face reader ! you put down the drain my years of poker-face-practice...I am so so curious to know what made you say that about me...I hope that I shall meet you someday,given the present circumstances (:-D), and might be able to ask this from you...because somehow you pierced right through the veil and I felt so exposed...like you stole my secret without my permission...I wasn't offended or sad or angry or anything but merely curious...I wish to get my answer soon :)


With this I bid goodbye to 2013...and welcome 2014 with open arms to embrace the happiness and opportunities it has in store.
A Very Happy New Year :)