Behind the veil.

It has been exactly one month and I am still numb with shock. I still have difficulty believing that you have embarked upon your journey into the unknown, leaving amid us merely a void that can never be fulfilled.

I am left in awe with laws of nature yet again. It feels so bizarre that the world is still going on. Shouldn't it be stopping? One of our members has simply disappeared behind the veil and yet everything is going on as usual. There is going to be one less CA and yet ICAI and all the students  are going on like they did - the stampede for submission of advance ITT forms, coaching, articleship, everything. The terrible truth about time is that it waits for none. Everything is going on in a horribly normal manner and yet it doesn't feel fair and right. Your conspicuous absence has left another gaping hole in my soul. 

I shudder to think about the grief of your parents when your loss has affected ME so deeply and I barely knew you...I know exactly how ineffably devastating it is for the family to bear such an untimely loss and in such a cruel manner...Trust me, I know exactly how it feels...to cry in the shower so no one can hear you...waiting for everybody to sleep so that you can let yourself fall apart...when sleep is the only respite because that is when you don't feel the pain of truth and reality...it is like the sorrow engulfs your entire being and you wish nothing but to die in your sleep and unite with the departed...the survivor's guilt envelopes your sanity and with every traitorous breath that you take, you are left blaming yourself ... the monster of depression sinks in its venomous teeth into your skin and yet you are forced to get on with everyday business while the venom keeps spreading, inflicting you with an emotional paralysis...the incessant tears blind you and you are left groping to find a meaning for the life you no more want to live...I know exactly how it feels.

But then, as they say, this is something that cannot be argued, fought, protested.. This pain can only be accepted and taught yourself to live with...and pain, well, it demands to be felt...there is absolutely no other option. I sincerely pray for strength for your family.

I know that I am nobody to say anything to your ways but, Dear God, sometimes you seem so unfair, so distant; You should not have let this happen.

RIP Ravleen.