Wednesday, 5 November 2014

MAKE IT PART OF THE DANCE

As my audit assignment nears its end, I suddenly have copious amount of time to be back to my beloved blog and I thought of writing about my first full-fledged statutory audit which kept me super-busy for about 3 months and which I handled all on my own.

Let me first give a bit of background which would explain why writing about it is important to me.
A statutory auditor's job is to audit the financial statements of an entity and express his/her opinion on the accuracy and fairness of the same. Now to find about accuracy of something, one ought to know what the law and various statutes say about various things...and I am er...not very good at remembering all those sections and stuff...I know, as somebody who is soon going to be a CA, this is  something which could seriously jeopardize my prospects but that doesn't change the fact that I am as good at audit/law as Harry Potter was at potions. So when I was told that I was supposed to handle the statutory audit all on my own, I felt like it was the termination of my articleship because I would do a lousy job and the client would report that to my principal who would then chuck me out. It isn't that I hadn't done any statutory audit before but I hadn't done it ALONE...there is nothing that scares me in the world except a job entrusted to me and done wrongly (read imperfectly)...and so this audit assignment brought back my boggart of 'what if I go all wrong' back....I tried to make someone come along with me but in vain...I lay in my bed, sleepless, dreading the assignment...what if I do it all wrong? WHAT WOULD I DO IF I STUMBLE??
If you stumble, make it part of the dance. 
And I found myself treading the memory lane...class 3...I was forced to participate in a group dance competition by my house teacher...if there was anything I hated the most, it was dancing! on the first day of practice, I got scolded really bad which wasn't surprising because I really S.U.C.K.E.D. at dancing. I came back home in tears...when I told at home that I was scolded and didn't want to participate, my mother asked me the reason for the same. "I am scared that I will go wrong...that I will stumble and fall", I told her truthfully.
"If you stumble, make it part of the dance", she said smiling at me.
And all my fears vanquished.
There was no turning back after that. Not only did the teacher (who had scolded me on my first day of practice) acknowledge in front of whole house that I was doing the best in the group but our house stood II in the competition.

If you stumble, make it part of the dance, she had said.
The next morning, I informed my sir that I would be doing the assignment on my own.




And so I began.
But I didn't begin just like that. I was determined to do it with all my heart, to learn as much as possible and to give it my best shot. So I made a few things clear in my head before I dived in -
1. I would set daily targets & weekly targets and adhere to those at any cost.
2. I would aim for  5% improvement and not just take things as they were done the last year... that is when I leave, my work should be at least 5% better than my predecessor. 
3. I would do it not for the sake of doing it but because I truly, really, sincerely wish to learn something out of it.
4. I would try to be like my father - professional to the core.

So my new anthem became - 
If a task has once begun, never leave it till it's done.
Be the labor big or small, do it well or not at all.


The job was huge. There were a lot of companies, 20 contractors, a trust and finally a sole proprietorship that I had to audit. Then there was the tax audit u/s 44AB and also a report on transfer pricing to be prepared.
I began with the contractors. One by one, I finished the contractors...ledger scrutiny...their tax computation...their tax audit...
The companies...6 of them...CARO(Companies Auditor's Report order)...calculation of MAT(Minimum Alternate Tax)...computation of tax liability...tax audit u/s 44AB ...
The sole proprietorship...the biggest of them all! 
Finally the transfer pricing report.

I am sparing you all the technical details of all this, no need to thank me for that :P
For I am not writing this blog to feed you CA stuff but because I wanted to share my own experience of the adage - the best way is always through.  
Yes, I was hell scared of not being able to meet the deadline with all that work and my daily coaching alongside. 3months passed in whirls of time - I lost track of things, I was out of touch with most of the world. I was often so tired by the time I got back home that I had no time or the energy to exercise which took toll on my health. I got skin allergy because of the pollution and smoke that the factories emit out there 24x7. But none of this mattered because nothing in the world can compare to the happiness and high that a tallied balance sheet gives !!! Yes, there were mistakes but I was able to rectify them all and match the balance sheet on my own.  For the first time in my life, I was actually learning some real life application of what I always studied in the confined walls of my classroom and 'puked' out on answer sheets in the confined walls of examination center,..and all by myself.
The 'all by myself' part is highly significant.
It isn't that I was highly dependent on people around me; I could do my work decently but now that I have done the work myself, I have realized that it gave me a strange sense of freedom... It is easy to run to others but the freedom that standing and doing it on your own gives is ineffable...the confidence that it has instilled in me is probably one of those things that they say you don't realize was missing until it finally arrives. But the most important of all was that it reinforced what I was always taught as a child -
If you don't know, the thing to do is not to get scared, but to learn.
Turning back, I feet that the best way to overcome fear is to look at your own past experiences and realize that it was futile to have all these fears!

There is this funny incident that I would like to narrate...while doing one of the companies, I got stuck somewhere. No matter how much I tried, I just could not understand where I had gone wrong because not even my trial balance was tallying, forget the balance sheet ! So I had to ask my father. He could not find the mistake either but he commented that my work was LOUSY ! he said that it lacked proper format and that things were all haphazard in there! the comment pierced right through my vein like some bestial injection spreading indignation in my blood, not because he had commented but because he was unable to find the mistake in my work and yet conclude that it was lousy ! Like father, like daughter - I snatched away my pen drive out of the laptop and told him that I would speak to him only after I had corrected my mistake and tallied the balance sheet. He burst out laughing. I didn't take his call the whole day, worked hard and tallied the balance sheet and mailed him. I then called him up and he laughed again ! but after an hour or so, I got a mail from him with the subject 'improved balance sheet' and saw that he had made several changes that had nothing to do with the fundamentals and everything to do with the presentation of the balance sheet !  It is impossible to beat him at CA-ism :P :D

Moral : Anything that I've done that was ultimately worthwhile initially scared me to death...Life begins where your comfort zone ends.
P.S.
Because of this audit, I displeased a lot of people - I was unable to be a part of their birthday parties and I know that they all believe that I always try to weasel my way out as I am not very fond of social obligations but I swear, this time I was really going bonkers due to the workload...Although I can't deny that I enjoyed the hours that I spent doing the work more than I 'd have enjoyed sitting idly in some mall ! :P

Sunday, 2 November 2014

Pika Pikachu


Scientists say that the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and ELECTRONS. They forget to mention morons.
~ Daffy Duck


No, no, no.
I know that you thought when I said moron, I was going to write about myself but I am really sorry to disappoint you. You are not Lord Voldemort, you can't always know everything.
Actually I wanted your attention on the word electrons, that is why it is written in capitals, you moron (ha ha! there ! I gave you a taste of your own medicine :D)
I want to introduce another contributor, a new author of this blog...and there is a direct link between electrons and that author.
So ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for PIKACHU ! :D




Enough of being a cartoon now! Back to business!

Here are the minutes of the meeting -

1. I love Pokemon. I love Pikachu.

2.My blog was linked to my first ever gmail id...and I created that id when I was a kid and kids make stupid ids...I am sure you all have stupid ids too...my best friend has anime in her id...some have words like beautiful and unique in their ids...I have angelic in my id. :P It is nothing to be ashamed of, of course, but as we grow up, we are taught to be professional and meticulous with respect to everything. And first thing we all do after being taught that is  to change our mail ids to something very boring like ca.pqr@gmail.com or dr.abc@gmail.com and so on and so forth...to give a nice impression to our future employer...of course he won't employ me for my knowledge and caliber but because I have a very professional-looking mail id, that's how we hire in India. I hope the sarcasm is evident.
And so I had to make such an id too...Now, I save my blog as a draft in my mail id before writing it on blogger(I like to put all my thoughts as and when they pop up in my head. They come up mostly before sleeping or while traveling in metro and I, being a scatterbrain, tend to forget them all soon so I have to save them asap) so I used to save them all in my main id, copy it from there, sign out, sign in with my old id that is linked with the blog and then finally paste it  there. Uff! Too much of a hassle, you see ! so I linked my main id with the blog too with the pseudonym Pikachu and voila issue sorted out :D

3.Pikachu is the cutest, most intelligent Pokemon ever.

4. Pikachu is very loyal. I revere loyalty in any form.

5. Being a cartoon character, Pikachu adds to the stupidity and tongue-in-cheek humour that I am well-known for :P 

6. Come on now, you all ! why so serious? It is really going to be me anyway ! Pikachu only makes it more convenient for me to post it. Though I could have used the post via email option too but Pikachu brings a well-needed change and change is the only constant thing in life !


So, I thought of appointing Pikachu as the new author.



Pika Pika ! :D