Life in the time of Corona

Corona has taken over the world. Even Prince Charles has contracted corona. Is anybody safe during these times?

I don't need to mention how bad the situation is, the media is already covering all of it. I am here to talk about how life has changed with this pandemic. Although coming from a person who already liked being under quarantine, this isn't going to sound much... I mean, I already hated going out of house or meeting people.

Since we are under 21days of lockdown, let me enlist 21 ways in which life is different in the time of corona. Of course, all of this is my personal opinion and written in good humour so you need not agree with any of it. These are listed in order of gravity of the matter i.e. from less serious to more -

1. I have learnt all the household chores in absence of any domestic help. I have become a total marriageable material :P So any secret admirers, now is the time to make your move because everything is fair in love and war and this is REAL war.

2. I have watched so much Netflix/Prime that I find it boring now. I even watched this long promised movie to one of my forever- favourite persons - Kesari ! I am now planning to watch B.R. Chopra's Mahabharat.

3. India has watched so much Netflix during lockdown, the data companies have had to reduce their speed from 40mpbs to 8mpbs. Of course, this was bound to happen with Pornhub premium going free! :P But seriously, if this is what makes people sit at home then be it!

4. I have finished reading 2 novels. And I am not talking about re-reading Harry Potter here!

5. Life is better as people are all locked inside so they can't visit me or complain that I don't visit them. :D

6. Make-up handicapped people like me have all the time in the world to learn basic make-up. I have learnt to apply eye liner now. Although I blotch up the left eye a bit but I still have 20 days left to fine-tune it. But secret admirers from point#1, don't expect me to be all dolled up on a daily basis even if I perfect it because laziness is something that I cannot take out of my DNA.

7. With no salon and beauty services available, no female is in any case going to set out of house. So as long as the salons are shut , the government need not worry about girls breaking the curfew. I am pretty sure, the moment lockdown is lifted, the salons are going to see a mad rush.

8. No office and no infuriating, sickening people from work to be seen and smiled at every morning! Apart from the fact that I am foregoing my salary, I like this the best of all things that this lockdown has brought.

9. Oh, I forgot the most obvious one! I am writing this blog post because I am feeling sane, now that I don't have the stress related to the point mentioned above! And I am sure, anybody who reads this blog would do so because they don't have anything else to do. :P

10. I had read somewhere years back that one takes 21 days to build a new habit. So I thought why not utilise this lockdown period for some value addition - learning a new language on Duolingo or may be study a bit for personal growth. Till now, nada progress so far in this department. And I have a strong feeling that this number is not going to increase. It would take more than Corona to do away with my habit of procrastination, I suppose.

11. I think it is heartening to see India fighting this pandemic with unity. The gratitude applause at 5pm on 22 March 2020 is something that is going to resonate within me for a long time. I was under the impression that only cricket world cup could unite Indians but I can proudly say that we can stand together when it comes to matters of national importance.

12. And yet, there are some of the 'cool dudes' who are venturing out for no reason. I am amazed at the innovative punishments that the authorities have come up with -

13. Then there are some REAL cool dudes. Corona has somehow helped ensure the gender equation. Men are spotted doing the dishes and cleaning the house. Here's a picture that cricketer Shikhar Dhawan shared of himself - 

Of course, there are countless other men helping their wives/mothers in all ways possible. Celebrities have been sharing their pictures as they do their own work. Katrina Kaif is getting popular doing household chores. 

14. The GoI has been announcing repeatedly that it is constantly working to ensure continuous supply of essential services and requesting people not to hoard things. But people don't want to pay heed and have been seen buying 100kgs of rice and wheat. And then there are people like daily wage earners who don't have any money to feed their children for the day. People, please listen to the authorities because they are working round the clock to ensure the basic necessities are available to all. 

15. This is the time we appreciate those who are out there risking their lives for us, by simply staying at home. How difficult is it to sit with your family and eat/sleep/watch television?

16. There are a few of my friends/acquaintances who are stuck away from their families. I wonder what it would feel like in time of crisis like this. Some theories propagate that China did this deliberately to break the bone of world economy and be a superpower. Well, if it is true then they are cruel and cold-hearted like Lord Voldemort for tearing apart so many families. I mean, people are dying. Is money/power/fame more important than life?

17. The GoI has had to announce relief packages for poorest of the poor. Both monetary and food. This extra expenditure is surely going to set back our economy but unlike China, we believe in value of life. I am positive we can all recover and bounce back with greater zeal ti build a better world.

18. Life has slowed down as we have stopped running behind material things and have come to realise that in the end all that matters is family. We have come to bare basics and realised that it is possible to live without luxuries. Office and work are not everything. Neither is money. We have been given a chance to appreciate this gift of life.

19. When was the last time you sat down with your whole family for a meal before this lockdown? I don't know but Corona reminds me of the Surf Excel tagline - agar daag lagne se kuch acha hota hai toh daag ache hain. I don't mean to say that Corona is good! What I mean is that now that this pandemic has hit, may be we can take something good out of it - placing people over things, love and friendship over PPTs and money, family over boss, health over work.

20. With human intervention withdrawn, nature is thriving. It appears that the Earth is recuperating as Corona hits the reset button - pollution levels have gone down, dolphins and swans have returned, water is clearer and the skies are bluest of the blue.

21. I think we were crossing the mark and the planet is retaliating in its own way. We were making life difficult for all other species and were flouting the planet's rule of coexistence. Perhaps this is Universe speaking to us to mend our ways if we don't want to be wiped off from the surface of Earth. When all of this gets over, I hope we start afresh and no more mess with the ways of nature.

How has your life changed in the time of Corona?

शादी कब करोगे ?

Disclaimer : There is no intention to hurt any community or religion or person with this post. All characters and names are fictional and any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental.

A respectable HIGH STATUS industrialist family of Mumbai seeks alliance for their smart, good looking, EXTREMELY beautiful, charming, cultured daughter. Looking for a professionally qualified boy hailing from high status, well established, CULTURED business family.

That's an advertisement from a matrimony page of a famous newspaper. Shadi (Somehow, marriage doesn't give the same emotions as Shadi!) season is back and so is my frustration. This is my third blog on shadi and somehow my frustration has increased manifold with each post! 

I don't have any problem with the concept of shadi per se but it is the big hullabaloo created by our society around this 'sacred union of two souls' that leaves me exasperated. If one could have simply a sign-and-done kind of marriage instead of having elaborate functions with dress codes, I wouldn't mind it much!

The shadi industry is one of the few industries which is immune to recession; petty issues like global economic slowdown can't mar the spirits of your relatives who want absolutely nothing than to see you in a marital bliss. How your marriage affects your mamiji's brother's neighbour's grandparents is a mystery to me but they will still suggest your parents to marry you off because THEY consider it right! And once you decide to get married, it's just the blur of functions that you are going to have to count using a calculator. And I don't know if it's just a Punjabi family thing but the grander the arrangements, the better your image in your society. This again leaves me completely nonplussed because shelling out 25lacs on a single night is moronic!  The YOLO (you only live once) trend further propagated by SRK in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai that shadi ek bar hoti hai has made Indian weddings from grand to outrageously grand -

1. Ostentatious

One of my friends broke open her bank balance for her wedding lehnga. It was undoubtedly beautiful but is there any point in shelling out lakhs for something that is only one-time wear? If only she had spent more time talking and knowing her beau than she spent on that lehnga, she might not have to file for a divorce months later!

2. Destination wedding

This new trend has been picking up with Indian couples quite a lot. My FB was flooded with a cruise wedding the other day while another one showed a wedding in Thailand. From simply taking vows in a temple to destination weddings, Indians have definitely notched up their choices! All this show off and no patience for each other, why have such a hollow marriage?

3. Pre-wedding shoots

I don't know who invented this innovative concept but it's been exploited by the photography industry like never before! The other day, one of my colleagues showed me what she called was her announcement picture. I got confused and asked if it was her version of pre-wedding! She told me that a decade back, people used to go to the photo studio and got clicked their pictures in specific poses to announce their wedding! From those tiny studios, the wedding shoots have moved on to exotic locations like Italy and Dubai. I do hope that pre-marriage communication also gets just as popular so that we are able to nurture caring and meaningful relationships!

4. Series of Functions

People surely spend their entire savings on weddings! From Roka to Shadi, the bride and the groom have to endure at least a hundred ceremonies, each more extravagant than the other! Add to it, the Indian brand drama of relatives - hame kisi ne pucha nahi, hame nahi bulaya th toh hum kyu bulayein unhe; the functions become a total nightmare! And God save you, if you somehow are unable to attend the wedding, people will treat you with a contempt so bad that no apology will erase their prejudice against you! the only people who really enjoy a wedding are friends and cousins who dance their hearts out!

I might come across as a melodramatic wedding critic but believe me I am not as cruel as it appears to be. I am just a little limited with people I share my important personal events with. So all this extravaganza associated with wedding makes me both nauseous and scared, confused and flabbergasted at the way people just drown all their savings for a single event.  I am in no manner against people holding a lavish wedding or suggesting in any way that grand weddings are in any way associated with marriage not being a success; I simply believe that the day is important to YOU so you alone have the right to decide how you want to make it happen. Some prefer the pomp and show while I am one of those who would prefer a silent court marriage and a month long travel around the world to celebrate it. To each, his/her own! 

If only, I could hold a swayamvar and put these conditions for the probable suitors - 

1. Must be a great travel freak.

2. Knowledge and love for Harry Potter is a prerequisite.

3. Must be willing for a silent, no non-sense marriage and spend all that money saved from extravagant affairs of shadi on point#1.

4.Handle the relatives and their taunts for committing the so-called social crime enlisted in point#3

5. Say 'Surbhi is the best' 10 times a day, with or without any reason. 😁

So, anyone for a date? 😆

उड़ने को पंख भी थे, ये भी भूल गए...

ऐसी आदत है हमें काम करने की 

कि उसी को सबकुछ बना लेते हैं,

उसी रट में लगे रहते हैं, उसी को ज़िन्दगी बना लेते हैं 

उसी से शिकायत है हमें

और फिर उसी पर जान न्योछावर,

काम काम नहीं होता 

अगर आदमी काम का नहीं होता  

I came across these lines while casually browsing through internet... and they reverberated deep in my heart for quite a long time. I kept pondering over these mainly because they left me introspecting...

Let me build a bit of background here first. I was always one of those people who had her life sorted since the beginning - getting good grades to get a decent college and then a job to make myself financially independent. I was, in simple terms, that cliched person who utters the words "working sincerely... giving my best...proving an asset" in interviews and then slogs the ass off to mean these words. But when I entered the corporate world and saw its ugly face, I realised the pretty picture I had in my mind was a mere illusion. The 'just out of college with her degree' me could not understand a few fundamental things plaguing the corporate culture -

1. How is sitting late a proof of efficiency? I mean, I could clearly see that a certain work can be finished in x hours but people will sit for (x+x) hours just to show that they are committed to the organisation, come on holidays, leave behind their families for work... I mean to say that I am not against working per se but it is the pretence of work that is beyond my comprehension and the fact that who have mastered this art are the star employees. And if I ever discussed this with anybody, I either got lectured on feminism or the fact that "kaam to aise hi hota hai..sab manage karte hain toh tum bhi karo, excuses mat do".

2. I don't know it's just the Finance department thing or a CA mindset thing but people will just NOT work till it's nearly the last day. I guess, the deadline pressure gives them a high or makes them more innovative? Not unless they pull all-nighters with all the free food and mugs of coffee/chai, shall the balance sheet be perfect.

3. Indian office culture is about making you feel guilty if you take a planned leave. Sometimes, taking a leave on a gazetted holiday (yes, you read it right!) will make you unreliable.

4. Don't even get me started on office politics for promotions and recognition. Even the thought makes me nauseous.

What's worse is that it is a never-ending loop. Everybody is doing it because their seniors did it. Anybody protesting against is the most useless employee.I don't know , it's either me who's wired not to fit into corporate culture or there's is something grossly wrong with the way we have made our lives centered around our work. My father cancelled a family trip for work and that's how I got the time to write this long-intended blog. See the irony?

Off late, I have been questioning my choice of field or the way I define success. True, I have a degree and a job that thousands of people aspire for...but if it is not making me happy, is giving me constant health problems, is changing my psyche and my behaviour; is it even worth? But then, if not this then what? From that sincere person who gave her one hundred percent in every endeavour, I have become that person who goes to work just for the paycheck, relegating to the backburner, that strong urge to do something unconventional at the back of my mind , day after day. That voice inside me that says live your dreams, grows feeble with each passing day because the reality is gnawing on the dreams like a hungry dementor. 

 The bitter truth remains that nobody seems to find this disturbing because most people think that this is not something that matters...  so I have stopped discussing this with anybody at all. Notwithstanding the fact that if what you do makes you unhappy and is altering the way you respond to everything, including yourself, this problem goes unnoticed. The only way I have come up with is to stop taking work/ office personally, minding my own business and focusing on personal growth and goals. It seems to be working so far. To conclude, I'd like to quote Nida Fazil - 

सफर में धूप तो होगी , जो चल सको तो चलो 

सभी हैं भीड़ में , तुम भी  निकल सको तो चलो 

किसी के रास्ते राहें कहाँ बदलती हैं 

तुम अपने आप को खुद ही बदल सको तो चलो |   

On the other side of 25.

They say age is just a number... a matter of mind... if you don't mind, it doesn't matter. But in our country and society, age serves as standards against which your wisdom and important life- decisions are measured. 25 is a difficult number - You are done with your college and have a job, you are legally allowed to drink; it is an age where you are assumed to have acquired maturity but are not experienced enough to take life-altering decisions.

Here is how your life changes once you are on the other side of 25 -

1. Settle ho jao,beta.

Notwithstanding the fact that you might have an emotional range of a teaspoon, maturity level of a 2.5 years old, but if you are on the other side of 25, you got to answer your relatives on why you are not thinking to settle down yet. You are constantly suggested proposals, your family suddenly wants to be your 'friend' and wants you to share everything with them; the mere fact that you are on the other side of 25 is reason enough for you to settle down in life because you have no better thing to do! Even as I type this, there is somebody sitting in our drawing room giving out an invitation for wedding, mentioning the myriad of functions they are hosting (read shelling out lakhs). I don't have a problem with people getting married but I have issues when they force that decision on others - arre bhai, tumko karni hai karo, hame kyu bol rahe ho... hame jab karni hogi hum khud dekh lenge! Go, mind your own business!

2. The dreaded 'First Gray Hair'

You can have oodles of protein in your diet but the stress and pollution will wreck havoc and your body will start showing first sign of degeneration in the form of gray hair! I used to be obnoxiously proud of my thick, lustrous hair but once I saw that strand of gray, I panicked and started all sorts of remedies. FYI, nothing has helped. I guess, we just have to accept it.

3. Facebook

There is a wedding-wave going on FB, I open my account and a friend gets married. Another problem with FB these days is the older generation getting suddenly tech-savvy and hyper-active on social media. Of course, we are all free to do whatever we want in our country but adding your Aunts and Uncles is not a good idea in a country like India because your Facebook accounts are scourged to look for potential marriageable materials in your profile - somehow the comments from a certain XYZ are enough for your family to conclude that something might be brewing. You have to change your privacy settings because your friends tag you in posts that might be considered objectionable by Sharma Aunty from your neighbourhood who doesn't battle an eyelid before shouting it out in front of your parents!

4. Sunday, tum kab aaoge?

I crave for weekends like lovers pine for each other.  Sunday is to me as a donut is to a to-be-bride on her diet, a curvy colleague is to a married guy, 40 marks are to a CA student - Bhagwaan! ye dila do bas. After enduring office and its stress in form of politics and deadlines, Sunday is the sacred place we all sincerely pray for. I don't know how can some people move their asses out of bed to malls; For me, Sunday means sleeping and binge-watching. Well, to each, his/her own but the bottom line is that this day is the brightest day of the week and I am not saying this because it is named after the brightest star!

A few things that never change, no matter which side of 25 you're on -

a) Acne !

Oily skin combined with tendency to get high levels of stress without realising results in this irksome forever-buddy called acne! From as long as I can remember, I have had serious acne issues. I envy people who have clean and clear skin in their genes.... I mean with negligible effort, they achieve that flawless skin while I battle a zit each week.

b) Harry Potter

Everything in life might be going awry, but this faithful ally has stood by me... giving me hope, nourishing my soul with the warmth of its essence - love and friendship, breathing in me the belief that things set out right in the end if you are brave enough to face the adversities and that "help will always be given to those who ask for it!"
If anything has touched my soul to the core, it's this wonderful story. <3
Some people often term it as fandom, addiction or kiddish behaviour but this story is a part of who I am.

c) Letting Go

I have realised that each passing day is an act of letting go... at the end of the day, only when I let go of the events of the day, I am able to shut down my brain and sleep. As a kid, letting go meant losing a toy or a game. It was easy and didn't bother me much as the next day meant a new toy or a game. As an adult, letting go has taken an altogether different perspective. You got to let go of people, sometimes your dreams and your emotions.The hardest is to say goodbye to people you treasured the most due to various uncontrollable factors like death, distance or apathy. It is not some summer vacation kind of goodbye - when your school reopens, you get to meet the same people again. This one is permanent and can't be undone. 

The constant thing about the art of letting go is that twinge of pain you feel in your heart and the fact that it teaches you to be on your own since nothing here is permanent. 

d) Best friends - insulting you was/is/will forever be their birthright.

Sometimes, when Earth runs out on good things, God sends out little angels (read devils) in form of your best friends. And I want to thank Him for bombing down my favourite people who have been my constant support, no matter how much I screw up or am rude to them or take my frustration out on them or not talk to them for days. I want you all to know that you matter A LOT and I just can't do without you all. Thanks for being there (even if it was for making fun of me most of the time!!) and I appreciate your presence the most even if I don't ever say it!



Often the cause of stress with ageing is not being able to be the version you had thought you'd be by that age and your peers achieving better than you. But life isn't about who reaches the finishing line first because finishing line in this case means The End... on the contrary, it is about the journey... what comes out of this wonderful journey is what stays with you till the end. So, with another year coming to closure, I think it is the best time to bury the stress and begin the ensuing year with a new vigour and promise to self to just be with the flow and let the Lord decide what's the best course of action and more importantly, the right time for that course!
Cheers!

Chop! Chop! Chop!

Disclaimer : This post has been written by a dejected girl who has just had to part away with her long tresses at the hands of a stupid hairdresser. There is no intention to offend anybody and marketing or defamation of any product is nowhere intended.


Among all the foulest creatures that walk the surface of the Earth, the evilest of them all is the hairdresser. He/She has a power that even Lord Voldemort cannot match; to make you feel horrible about your hair. Let's have a look at what a harrowing experience it is to go for a haircut -

1. Alliteration D
One may wonder that if we take so much pain to grow our tresses, wouldn't we want to take care of it and keep it well groomed? But no! These inconsiderate hairdressers drone on like an irritating Justin Bieber song on loop - "dry, dull, damaged... dry, dull, damaged" 
(I know I have damaged hair, why do you think I am here ?! It's not my fault that the pollution in my city is outrageously high and the weather extremely out of hands!)


2. Which Shampoo?
It should be made a criminal offence under Ethical Code of Hairdressing to pester someone with this question. How does it matter which shampoo I use? Everybody is aware that all the shampoos do the same job no matter how fancy the name or how exorbitant  the price. Of course, it is all part of the marketing gimmick - they make you question your choice of shampoo and then try to sell their own preferred brand of shampoo.

3. Don't you oil your hair?
Another frustrating question. For a person who was made to oil her hair everyday of school despite the mockery it brought, the question is insulting. Even as an adult, I diligently oil my hair before every head-wash because I know that if I don't, my hair will resemble the guy from the center-shock advertisement.

4. Hair Spa le lo, Keratin treatment le lo!

Hair spa is supposedly the elixir for damaged hair! I, personally, find the entire concept a baloney because how can putting more chemicals treat your damaged hair? Another marketing strategy to mint out more money out of such treatments. But the fact remains, everybody is raving about hair spa these days but I find no difference in their hair quality !

5. 1 inch = 3 inches.

This is perhaps the most infuriating part of my visit to a salon. These people have a flawed scale and notwithstanding my constant plea for trimming not more than 1 inch of hair, they happily chop away 3 inches if they are merciful and more if they are sadistic bastards. And then, they have the audacity to ask - "is the length okay?"

Arre bhai, if I say it is not okay, will you paste my trimmed hair back with fevicol ?! Nincompoops.

I would like to mention that I have got a lot of compliments for my new haircut but nothing seems to be alleviating my grief of parting with 3 inches of my hair; I am currently planning to visit the Himalayas and seek nirvana plus those sadhu babas have long hair and can guide me how to grow my hair back faster.

Yours dejectedly
The girl with short hair