Odyssey : Adieu 2013

Zendagi Migzara...Life goes on...
With this shittiest albeit the truest philosophy of life, I reach end of another eventful year...2013 has been the craziest year of my life so far...arduously testing my endurance and resilience, it slapped me awake from my slumber to the reality...
But life is such...life is not fair, but life is not fair to everyone. That makes life fair...

"Nobody is gonna hit as hard as life...but it ain't about how hard you hit but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward"

Family, career, friends everything took a new turn...I was left stranded in a completely unfamiliar territory which was a mixture of good and bad...all in all, 2013 showed up a totally different side of Surbhi Makkar...
Here's a flashback of the same-


The WOW side
The farewell ceremony...I was awarded the title of 'Miss Diligent'
(miss diligent? What? How? Why?
In three years of my graduation, I never reached on time for a single class.If I ever managed to attend my first class it was because the teacher was late.
I had never submitted any assignment on time
I skipped most of the class tests
I was often chucked out of classes
I had serious attendance crisis
I used a single register for all the three years
I never even tried to listen to the teacher in the class)

2 weeks before the farewell, when I told people that our college farewell was going to happen soon...

Male members of Makkar family – Surbhi won’t ever attend it

Female members of Makkar family – Surbhi won’t ever attend it

Male friends- Surbhi won’t ever attend it

Female friends- Surbhi won’t ever attend it

When I announced that I wanted to attend the ceremony...
Everybody- WHAT?!? (always the tone of surprise !!!)


When I elaborated further that everybody wears a saree and so would I...
Male members of Makkar family – saree?! Hanger lagegi…giraffe lagegi (hats off for the adjectives used)
Female members – saree?! Hot lagegi…gorgeous lagegi (thank you,pretty ladies)


So began my hunt for the right saree which by the way I wanted to wear low waist :P
After running everywhere to find the right stuff (blouse,accessories,heels) I found myself standing in front of the mirror on the day of the farewell and I could not recognise myself !
I reached college (2hours late,chiding myself for the fact that in the three years that I spent here,I was NEVER on time for any of the classes and I am late even on the last day!)

My observations and experience after the ceremony got over-

1. NOBODY recognised me…the moment I entered the venue,all my friends and classmates kept staring till I finally took a seat and after a long awkward pause when I asked what was wrong,all of them blurted out together “maal lag rahi hai maal…roz kya ban ke aati hai,aj kya lag rahi hai” (for those of you who are not aware of the DU lingo,maal here doesn’t mean stock…it is a vernacular term for femme fatale :P) when I returned home,the door wasn’t opened for me because my family refused to believe that it was me…no hyperbole intended..
2. No matter how seductive it looks,it is a real pain in the ass to wear a saree ! you can’t even walk properly ! I was about to fall ALL.THE.TIME..and I don’t know which Einstein called it to be the traditional dress of India- it’s SO revealing,dude !
3. HEELS !!!
   WHY ?!?
   I can’t walk properly even in flats ! I think that my cerebellum didn't develop only- there is no coordination between my limbs :P
4. I was a total failure while posing for the pics…
   kuch nahi aata surbhi tujhe ladkiyo wala [sic]
   thoda thik se khadi ho jaogi ek baar [sic]

Here is my picture, the middle one is how I normally look and rest of them are in saree...don't I look different?! :P

Though it is out of context but I also learnt an important lesson-never ever play Holi if you have to wear a sari the next week !!! The Murphy-law states that the colour won't come out esp from the face,neck and back and also you will get gulaal-allergy that won’t subside for weeks !(Thank you whoever invented the thing called foundation...you saved me :P)


The sick-of-social-media event
I deactivated my FB...it has been one of my best decisions this year,according to me...it gave me some real peace of mind and helped me reset my priorities...no more fussing over who got into relationship with whom, who got 123456789 likes on his/her DP or "you did not like my pictures" crap from people, like this if you care for India/poor dying/dogs unadopted/WTF requests...apart from nobody wishing me birthday, I think I am not losing out much...so I see no plans of reactivating it in the near future...


The unexpected
With all the personal shit happening, I was pleasantly surprised to score 70% in my final year...it isn't without any reason that I always say-DU,you are the best!


Reality Bites
Articleship...the grilling interviews...and I was at my surbhi-est best...


Interviewer : could you please tell me something about section number 69 ?
Surbhi : sir, I am sorry but I don't remember any of the sections.
Interviewer : why? how are you going to handle all the clients then ?
Surbhi : sir because I feel we can always google them up..you remember them only because you have been applying them here for so many years (this is called babaji ka thullu :P what on earth was I thinking?! )


I need not say that I was chucked out for my brutal honesty.


Next one...SNB...one of the top 20 firms...The director wanted to meet me in person because he loved what I wrote in my essay...after the 40minutes interview that followed, I knew that his daughter was married to some NRI in London and I had also seen his grandson's video in his Iphone4...screw you,Accounting standards/section numbers/audit procedures...this is how real interviews should happen...to make you feel at ease with the company you might soon be joining...and the best part,his words -"you are a champion in my eyes..I give you an opportunity,prove me right"


I was born a moron so I did not join this firm...
But I don't regret it much...I joined a decent enough firm where I have made friends who are perhaps going to last lifetime unless they get pissed off at me for I bug them a lot with my never-ending doubts...September and July were the busiest months, no time to even eat your food properly...I was sent for audit of an export company...it has been a good experience so far...I hope I'll eventually learn the real ca stuff and be a good (read sexy :P) chartered accountant :D


Things you lose have a way of coming back to you
SRCC...my dream college...I could not make it there because of a mere 0.25% (& what was worse was the fact that my best of four was less than my aggregate) it left a deep gaping hole inside my heart and I hated myself for the entire three years when I had to pass right across srcc daily...but destiny works in strange ways...
Lo and behold, I am walking down the lanes of srcc...not as a student but as an auditor...with authority to check any fucking thing in srcc's finance and accounts department...it was a divine feeling :)


Another divine feeling is when people you thought had disappeared from your life because of various enigmatic reasons,like your childhood friends,reappear and brighten up your life with their presence :) To them I want to say "tanik dhanyaavaad" :D ;)


GMCS- an eye opener
It was here that I practically learnt not to judge a book by its cover..that what you see is not always true...people who appear all glittery are not always gold and people you take for silver might in fact be platinum...Jim Corbett is something I shall always cherish :)

The Testing phase
When you lose the last thread that ties you to your existence, life suddenly seems meaningless...when you don't want to be where you are, but you know you'd never want to be anywhere no matter where you are, life looks lost...when hope doesn't matter anymore because it would lead to another hopeless destination...when the days ahead are not necessarily dark, but it doesn't even matter because you no longer have the energy left to face a new day...when there is nothing you look forward to, this is the perpetual state of mind you are in...during such moments I recall my all time favourite words-



and last but not the least,


The bizarre event
This is for the person I have never met in my life...I have never even spoken to this person ever...A friend of mine forwards my picture to this person for some silly reason saying that she is a really amazing person,laughs around a lot and all that bullshit...and the craziest thing I ever heard from a total stranger,this is what that person had to say about me - iske chehre pe hasi hai but andar bahut pain dikhta hai iski eyes se..jaise bahut kuch dekha ho isne zindagi mei...
how,HOW,H.O.W. could you say this about me,face reader ! you put down the drain my years of poker-face-practice...I am so so curious to know what made you say that about me...I hope that I shall meet you someday,given the present circumstances (:-D), and might be able to ask this from you...because somehow you pierced right through the veil and I felt so exposed...like you stole my secret without my permission...I wasn't offended or sad or angry or anything but merely curious...I wish to get my answer soon :)


With this I bid goodbye to 2013...and welcome 2014 with open arms to embrace the happiness and opportunities it has in store.
A Very Happy New Year :)

24 Things That You Didn't Know About Dr Amit Makkar

pre script :
often,on our way to success and happiness,we take for granted,the people who stand behind us,supporting us silently...though we respect their care and love from the core of our heart but we fail to appreciate it...to acknowledge it...but these wonderful people don't ask for any kind of acknowledgement...they just stand behind you,motivating you to go on..I don't really believe that words or any actions are needed to show that they mean a lot to you but why take the risk of waking up one day and realising that those important persons are no more a part of your life because they felt their care was no longer needed...
so this is my silly way(what else could you expect..i mean the title of my blog is ROFL) of expressing my heartfelt gratitude for somebody to whom I owe my everything...
expressing emotions publicly is not my cup of tea..so these 24 crazy things...these 24 points (since it's his 24th birthday) are a compilation of what makes my brother and me the craziest siblings ever...because this is the way I like US- total understanding,little arguments,more love and even more care...
the satire and sarcasm is meant solely for entertainment :D

1. 28.4.1992…the day I was born,he had his first day at school…and he chose to go to school and didn't come to meet his little sister !!! it hurt so much that I cried like crazy (not that I could do anything else at that time :P) LKG class ka first day tha,it isn’t that he had his CA exams ! but that is how diligent he is about his work !

2.He was named Ambuj but I don’t know why it was later changed to Amit ! our maternal relatives still call him ambuj and it sounds so classy ! and it’s so apt for the kind of bond that I share with him- ye deewaar toot'ti kyu nahi...tootegi kaise...viraat compressive strength wale AMBUJa cement se jo bani hai :D

3.He is doing his specialization in pedodontics…that is child specialist…so befitting as he is great with kids ! he has been acclimatized to enduring a obstinate,pampered,garrulous and non-sensical kid (read surbhi makkar ) since ages :D in his own words,”4years k patients aate hain mere pas and shaanti se injection lgwaate hain but surbhi k aage injection ka naam lo sahi and it’s pandemonium ! “  he says to me when I go into my  main-nhi-lgwa-rahi-injection panic attack,that divert your mind,stop thinking about the needle ! how can anybody think about anything else when that shiny pointed bestial thing is going into the vein ?! he's insane ! doctor kisne bana diya pta nahi ! :P

4. He has always been swarmed by girls !!! As a kid,i always got confused between the SHAs of his class- isha,nisha,alisha,anisha,nimisha etc ! in college,he had 32 girls in his class vis-a-vis 8 boys and in his post-grad,he is the only guy in the whole department ! (if ever my iitian friends get to know of these statistics,they would die of shock/jealousy :D)

5.I love to irritate him :D it’s my fav hobby ! these epic lines that he finally utters when it gets past endurance,totally make my day - “surbhi ko smjhaa lo”
“drama krwa lo bas”
“ek kaam kaho sahi,100 toh sawaal puchti hai jinme se ek bhi kaam ka nhi hota” (this is my personal fav :D)

6.As a kid,he endured my cheating tactics in all the games that we played…cricket, badminton, carrom, ludo anything ! that was because I always made the rules to suit my convenience – jab tak 3 bar out nahi hoti,main out nahi maani jaungi,no run out or one-tip catch allowed in my case :P and if I got out( within the limits of my rules,that is),I always used to come up with “main ready nahi thi,this is not fair” :D and when everything else failed and I still was on verge of losing the game,I used to shake the board(ludo/carrom) and ruin the game :D but he was so sweet (he still is!) that he only laughed it off !

7.He is a superb dancer ! no party is complete without his Punjabi dance :D
 
  

8.He loves to watch television ! that may be due to the fact that he doesn’t have a tv in his hostel.so when he comes home,he gets glued to the tv screen ! and I am made to watch silly things such as news (aajtak for god’s sake !!!) and ridiculous hindi movies whose names I haven’t heard in my lifetime ! and CID toh aise dekhta hai jaise ye ho gaye ACP pradyuman and hum ho gaye criminal jo agar na dekhne de tv toh hame toh *acp’s signature hand movement*phaansi hogi,phaansi !!! :P

9.He is an amazing cook ! so when he comes home from hostel,it’s party time for me ! :D I get to eat noodles,cake,pasta,pizza and stuff  that is cooked by him ! :D kitchen,in my case,is a territory I rarely venture into :P

10.He has this silly habit of bigaadofying all the songs !!! kabhi kabhi aditi becomes kabhi kabhi surbhi…Saturday Saturday becomes Sunday Sunday :D so lame !

11.His modus operandi – look for things that he needs…nhi milegi (I swear he got buttons instead of those eyes ! even if the thing is kept right under his nose,he doesn't see it !) then, “surbhiiiii !!!”  when I help him find whatever he’s looking for,I ask him twice to keep it back at its right place…obviously he doesn’t…then again,”surbhiiiiiii !!!” (surbhi na ho gyi google ho gyi !)

12.His knack of losing things is simply bizarre…wallet,mobile,imp papers…you name it and chances are that he’s lost it at one time or the other ! :P let me illustrate…he keeps his mobile on top of the car while locking it(who on earth does that?!),locks the car,goes to a restaurant and has a delectable dinner,comes back and laughs like a hyena to see a phone kept on top of the car and exclaims that kitne budhu hote hain log ptani kahan kahan phn rakh dete hain,till he realizes that it’s his own phone :D (courtesy akhil gupta)

13.My habit of fussing over every little thing is matched only by his perfect insouciance :P whenever he has to go somewhere,I go berserk (“charger daala hai k nhi…belt..brush..socks” basically everything under the sun) but he still manages to forget something or the other ! deo/keys if it’s a normal day and his admit card if he has an exam !!! (respect,dr amit makkar.)

14.He never compromises with three things in his life ! health,work and looks ! he makes sure he is always well groomed and presentable(unlike me,who was fascinated by the object called mirror only when I was studying about the laws of reflection in physics :P) he has the best collection of deo that I have ever seen :D  perhaps this explains point 4 :P

15.He is not one of those doctors who would be buried in the books 24x7…he keeps up with the trends ! that’s a pic from his fresher’s day,he is the one in the blue t shirt…do not miss his baggy cargo jeans(those were in fashion that time) the stud in his ear and the spikes that he’s sporting for the occasion !



16.Since he’s trendy, he makes sure I don’t lag behind…70% of my wardrobe comprises of things gifted by him,with or without any reason :P

17.Whenever he goes for shopping to buy stuff for ME,he comes out with at least one t-shirt of his own …only after I make him see sense that it was supposed to be MY shopping,does he reject the other two t-shirts that he had liked (okay this may be going over the board but he does that often! He starts selecting his own stuff even if it’s my bday shopping!!! )

18.I really really envy his sleep ! while I keep tossing and turning in bed for hours,he falls asleep in a jiffy ! when I am excited/tense/sad/happy,no matter what the state of my mind,it takes me minimum 1hour to calm my intractable mind while he enjoys his dreamless sleep !

19.He never ever switches off the lights! Kabhi bhul kar galti se bhi charger/lights/fans off nahi karta ! so if earth runs out of electricity someday,you know who to blame :P

20.He is diurnal while I am nocturnal..i have failed to understand to this day how can he manage to sleep so peacefully at night when he has half his syllabus left for the exam scheduled next day! Even if I try to sleep at night,I have dreams that make me sick and I get out of bed and start revising  (I call this the Hermione-syndrome) :p

21.He has always instilled a positive sense of competition in me…i was able to do things that I thought I would not be able to when I saw him accomplishing them…that’s how I learnt dance and computer languages…

22.He is my calmness tonic…his sangfroid is something I have always been in awe with…like water puts off fire,the rage and jitters of a taurean have always been controlled by this composed aquarian…his presence alone takes away half my worries…I don’t know how he manages it but he has a way of handling my crappy mood swings…only a few people possess this talent :P

23.He is a very loving person..and this is an understatement…as an elder brother,he is so caring that words would not suffice if I tried putting it into words…I am the aggressive one,always sulking while he never gets tired of cheering me up…as a kid,I even used to hit him(though it hardly hurt him and I was seen with a crepe bandage for the next few days:P) but time/situations/circumstances  have taught me to keep my anger under control so I try to be a good girl now :D

24.There is this silly memory ..which nobody but he and I can understand :P i watched jaane tu ya jaane na with him…and the last scene (when imran calls after genelia- meow meow-that was her nickname in the movie,to stop her) had made us both laugh like crazy…and I don’t know why I really liked the sound of the word- meow :P when I am in no mood to ans him,I say meow :P something like this-

i. bhai :SomethingOfUrgentImportance
  surbhi: meow
ii.bhai : SomethingThatRequiresMyAttention
 surbhi : meow
finally,(this is the best part,his expression)he says,meow meow krti rahiyo !!!:P



I would like to end  with a song from the same movie (jaane tu ya jaane na) cuz it kinds of sums it all up-
 main bolun kitna saara,tu bole zara zara
 main bolun din hai toh,tu bole raat nahi
 main sochun tu hi tu,mera koi aur nahi
 tu soche main hu tera,bas tera koi aur nahi
 koi aur ho ya na ho,tu hai main hu,bas
 jaane tu…jaane tu ya jaane na
 maane tu….maane tu ya maane na !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,bhai :) you rock :D
you are awesome.period.
thank you for tolerating me all these years..do so for a lot many years because that's your punishment for not coming to meet me on my first day on this earth :D

p.s. 

A. though all of this was my idea,it would not have been possible without kanika's help who scanned the pics for me.

B. manan and agamya have a role too..because when i see them fighting as well as caring for each other,i am reminded of the two of us...esp when manan says to his parents "ye itni shaitaan si agamya hi mili thi apko!" :P 

Economics of Love !

Having endured the torture that only curves (yeah, all u guys out there, curves are not always a treat to eyes!) of the countless (read useless) theories proposed by our eminent economists (why could you all not propose to your lady love instead of proposing these theories? Life would have been so much better for you all and us!), I could finally come up with some real practical use of eco in our lives! and I am not talking about economics that our dear manmohan singh/pranab mukherjee force upon us in form of inflation, it aint any you –have- ruined –our- country- manmohan-singh- n- Sonia- Gandhi blog, so hold your hippogriffs !

This aint any satire…not any insult to Dr Amit Sachdeva (author of the torture that I bear in my bcom!)…it is my humble tribute to my amazing(rofl) brain that came up with its silly versions of  applications of economics to remember the umpteen number of curves and to understand the enigmatic L word(love !) that plagues all my friends !

Concept 1- Monopoly

Monopoly means there is no substitute for your product! Now, it isn’t a practical approach anymore because your customer demands innovation and diversity! the kuch kuch hota hai theory of ‘hum ek bar jeete hain,ek bar marte hain shadi bhi ek bar hoti hai aur pyar,wo bhi ek bar hota hai’ is a thing of past now! There are substitutes for all the products including what you call ‘true love’! The only exception being Indian railways! I wonder if love could be compared to a train! Because you do have that JWM feeling of ‘aisa lag raha hai jaise koi train choot rahi ho’ when THE ONE leaves K
so, how do you survive? You invest! Time, if your product is love, that is! Else see your rivals taking over and you lose the market to somebody else…

concept2-Indifference approach to equilibrium

This concept says that if you are in equilibrium, you will be indifferent to all other possible combinations of products…you will have max satisfaction and would stop looking for ‘better’ products because you have what you want, within the limits of your constraints! If you really love the one, you would be indifferent to all other angelic beauties surrounding you because you have what you want and want nothing better! You are happy, you are content…if you are not, she/he aint THE ONE and you are not in equilibrium, dude!

Concept3- Law of supply

It is as simple as it sounds! Higher the price, higher the supply! So this is the answer to the million dollar question that haunts all the young male members of the Homo sapiens specie- why do girls act so pricey all the time! In desi lingo,bhaav kyu khati hain !arre bhai common sense hai ye toh !  If you are available all the time, you are treated like a pup ! Taken for granted! Kicked when not required and called upon when nobody is there !if you act pricey, there will be a higher supply of ily,I miss u from the other end ! believe me, all my successful(wrt relationships!) female friends use this and it is foolproof ! :D

concept4-Lemon problem

This is a beautiful concept ! if I put it in simple words, the bad drives out the good…I mean how long can you fool a customer to buy your lemon while you claim you sell out cherries? You lose the trust and hence the customer! The bad ones hurt and shake the faith and confidence of the good ones…the cherries(people who are honest and good) start believing that there are only lemons(people who hurt) in the market…and the cherries leave…they detach themselves and hence the end of what could have been a beautiful story between two cherries, had the lemons allowed them to meet and have faith in love! sad truth of life!
I totally agree with the greatest wizard of all times that it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities, so why not choose to be a cherry ? it would make life so much simpler J

p.s.

1. This content is entirely aimed to do justice to the title of my blog-ROFL ! do not look for any moral because there isn’t any :P
2. All those who suffer at the cruel hands of the syllabus forced upon us(I mean buckminsterfullerene ajtak kaam aya kahin?!? But we had to read about it!)  by the ministry of education, try to make things interesting by relating it to anything of your choice! Let me illustrate! You can remember the structure of the main component(ethanol!) of what you enjoy drinking with your 3male(CH₃) and 2female(CH₂) friends and oh(OH) what fun it is, man!I am talking about alcohol and its main component is ethanol(CH₃CH₂OH) !lame, I know but there is no way but to bully your brain to enjoy such lameness ! this is how I endured chemistry and now bear economics:P
3. For those who have never had the (mis)fortune to read economics and the above stuff was greek to them, I would like to know about your theories on the dreaded L word,perhaps something like engineering of love! :P