o-Office o-Office

तेरे इश्क़ ने बना दिया सरकारी दफ़्तर मुझको,

ना किसी की बात सुनता हूँ, ना कोई काम करता हूँ !!!

My dear Ghalib-fanatics, lovesick, infatuated ishaqzaado, please come out of your reverie of your last date with your beloved and focus not on ishaq but on the sarkaari daftar.

How many of you remember Musaddilal ? He was the protagonist of this fabulous serial called office office.

I have always been a great fan of this serial.The plot revolves around the plight of a common man and his fight with the corrupt employees of governement departments...a perfect satire on the scenario in a sarkaari daftar...

My personal experience with DU taught me the same about the government employees. Whenever I had to renew my DTC student pass- 

Monday, KMC Admin Dept, DU 

               10 am - nobody has arrived in the office yet.

               11 am - the official sips his tea while the students wait 

(there is no line...wake up dude, this is DU...I mean it's Delhi...I mean it's India...we don't have any lines here because His Highness Amitabh Bachchan taught us ages back that  hum jahan khade hote hain, line wahin se shuru hoti hai)

               12 noon - I am still waiting...trying to get my form signed.

               12:30 pm - I am right next to the window and WHAM !

He shuts the window saying "lunch time"..."but it is 12:30 and lunch timings are 1-2pm", I try to reason with him but in vain.

               2:30pm - the window is still shut (lunch timings : 1-2pm, just saying)

               3 pm- Form signed but the battle has just begun.

Tuesday, DTC office, DU

               10 am- I am waiting.

               12 noon- I am waiting

                3 pm- I give up and return.

Wednesday, DTC office, DU

(repeat the above procedure.)

Thursday, DTC office, DU

               10am- I am waiting.

               12:30 pm- I submit my form

               1 pm - I get my renewed bus pass.

So with such experiences during three years of my graduation at DU and my years of watching the show Office Office, when I was recently sent to audit a Government company, I had in my mind the image of lethargic people trying to harass the common people to vent out their personal frustrations. Plus my friends placed in government companies tell me their stories about how the whole department tries to procrastinate the work, never listen to any reason or logic whatsoever and spend the lunch time (official lunch timings 1-2pm, actual lunch timings12-3pm) talking about desh mei hai kitna bhrashtachaar, ab ki bar modi sarkaar :D

And so I reached the office of National Insurance Company, DRO- II...Little did I know that a huge surprise awaited me.

Expectation : A boring office full of files and irritated government employees.

Reality : A clean, nice office full of files and cheerful employees.

I asked for Mr T.C. Gupta...The manager...

Expectation : a fat aged man with loads of quintessential government-official-attitude.

Reality : a lean and extremely humble person who knows his work.

He told me about the company...about his own experiences...that this was his first and last job...he began at a mere Rs600 and how paved his way to the top with his patience and perseverance.

He then introduced me to his staff - 

         

 (left to right)
Mr T.C. Gupta, Radhika Sabharwal
The girl in saffron kurti is a great CA in making who would conquer the whole world
Just kidding, that's me. :D
Mr Gaurav Dixit (My Sir),Varun Bansal (a fellow article), Mr P.K. Singh.










Mr Sunil Dua, Mr Bhupinder Kumar and the lady standing behind me is Mrs Sunita Mittal.







Expectation : lazy and uncaring people whiling away their time in gossips.
Reality : Warm- hearted, caring people actually concerned about their company's growth and the associated people. 
(Dua Sir is by far the most jovial person I ever came across. He has the capability to guffaw at anything and everything. Sunita Ma'am ensured that I ate my lunch and got tea/juice on time)  


And so I began my work...I started studying the last year reports...I was supposed to audit the regional office which had 19 branches under it...the data from the branches was consolidated at the regional level...I read the CAG report, the audit report, the tax audit report...It was hell boring (Shh, as a CA I am supposed to love this work so please don't blurt this out.)

Apart from the swivel chair, when everybody calls you Ma'am, it feels good too :P

 To prevent my mind from constantly drifting away to thoughts of shahi paneer and naan (yes, you guessed it right I am a hardcore Punjabi) that I was going to order for my lunch, I looked around the office.
My observations - 

1. Files...FILES...F.I.L.E.S...

nothing new, that's normal if you are doing CA.

2. Everybody, EVERYBODY [except me] was working.

(Though it is unnecessary to point out but I hope you noticed the files.)

3. Each person seemed so polite, helpful, humble and cooperative.

( Am I still in Delhi?)

4. Lunch timings 1:30- 2pm and people follow it. No plus one hour  each to the lower and upper limit.

 (Is this really a government office?)

5. There is a constant sound buzzing through the office whole day as the old dot matrix printer keeps churning out paper.

The NIC staff has been given Samsung Galaxy smartphones (ain't it so cool?) and the best of PCs to work on but the printer remains the one that my great-grandfather used after he borrowed it from his father. (who on earth uses the dot matrix printer nowadays?!).

6. Talking about printing, one thing that greatly bothers me is the fact that there is absolutely no regard for the paper that is wasted in mindless printing of vouchers, bills, debit notes blah blah.

 The signed balance sheet along with annexures and other schedules comprised almost of 100 pages and there were 8 sets prepared for the same. And the final set was printed after making a hundred thousand changes as asked by the auditors (read surbhi makkar and jay) so roughly we printed about 1000 pages today (the day the balance sheet got signed).

7. Tea is to government employees as cricket is to India. 

Need I say more?

Thank God, the canteen had this saviour that I sipped away daily - 










 (Don't miss the files)

8. The Ramacharitramanas.

Gupta Sir has been following this routine since 1980 (I asked him this specifically). During the 30mins lunch break, he reads out aloud to the whole staff two chaupaai of The Ramacharitramanas.Daily.Without fail.
I have never seen such a thing in any office. It was something novel in a very inexplicable way, if I am making any sense !
When I started the audit, Lord Rama was leaving for his 14years long exile...when I wrapped up the audit, almost after a month, it was time for bharat-milaap.
I am not a religious person at all. I hardly go to temples. But I felt that there was always an atmosphere of utmost serenity in the office during these 15mins.

Oh I almost forgot to mention that the government audit enhanced my knowledge as well as exposed me to an entirely different domain. Since CAG audits the government companies as well, I got to learn quite a lot...esp about the section 619(3) of the Companies Act. :P

NIC totally changed my notions about a government company...oh by the way, the company achieved its target of 10,000 crore premium in this fiscal year...highest ever by any company in India...I think it's really really commendable.
See you next year, NIC :D

Yours sincerely
Statutory Auditor



P.S.

I would like to thank Jay for helping me click these pictures, for eating whatever I ordered, for answering all my stupid doubts and queries, for lending me his phone to play fruit ninja when I got bored of all the files surrounding me and last but not the least for waiting for me at the metro station daily because I got (unintentionally!) late almost everyday :P

दास्तान-ए-ज़िंदगी...

Pre- script: This post is dedicated to the most beautiful language, the language that conveys the depth of the emotions like no other means- URDU...I was introduced to urdu by my baba, my grandfather, when I was a kid...It has stayed with me ever since...and my love for the language has only continued to grow as I progress along the road of life...

ज़िंदगी ज़िंदादिली का नाम है

मुर्दादिल भी क्या खाक जिया करते हैं... !

(Life is for the brave hearts...cowards don't live a life.)

बात तो किरदार की होती है

वरना क़द में तो साया भी इंसान से बड़ा होता है...!

(It all zeroes down to the character of a person, else even the shadow is bigger and taller than a man.)

 

इस यकीन पर अंधेरों में सफ़र जारी है

कि मिल ही जाएँगे उजाले मुझको... !

(Carrying on with the dark journey of life with the faith that I'll someday find light.)

अगर रास्ता खूबसूरत है तो पता करो किस मंज़िल को जाता है

लेकिन, अगर मंज़िल खूबसूरत है तो रास्ते की परवाह मत करना... !

(If the journey is beautiful,worry about where it leads you but if the destination is beautiful, don't care about the journey, no matter how tough.)

ज़िंदगी जीने का मज़ा उस वक़्त आता है जब जीने का कोई ख़ास मकसद हो

वरना तो जानवर भी ज़िंदगी गुज़ार ही लेते हैं... !

(Life has meaning only when it has got some purpose. Only animals have a life without any special purpose.)

अभी आगाज़-ए-सफ़र में यूँ घबरा गये तुम

अभी सफ़र-ए-हयात में बहुत मंज़िल बाकी है... !

(Don't get scared at the inception of this journey called life. It has a lot to show, this is just the beginning.)

पूछो तो हर एक है तनहा सुलग रहा

देखो तो शहर शहर है मेला लगा हुआ...!

(Every place is buzzing with people and yet in reality, each of us here is lonely.)

किस किस को पेह्चानोगे इस शहर की भीड़ में

हर एक के चेहरे पर है हज़ार नक़ाब चढ़े हुए... !

(Everybody here wears a thousand masks, whom can you recognize and trust in this crowd of millions)

मंज़िल पे पहुँचने की होती है तलब जिनको

वो रास्ते में रुक कर सोचा नहीं करते... !

(Those who seek nothing but the success, don't stop and think about the obstacles in the path)

वो खुद ही तये करते हैं मंज़िल आसमानों की

परिंदों को नहीं दी जाती तालीम उड़ानों की

रखते हैं जो होंसला आसमान छूने का

उनको नहीं होती परवाह गिर जाने की... !

(Birds are not taught to fly, it is in their very nature.Those who seek success and have the courage to touch the sky,are not scared of setbacks and falls.)

 

कामयाबी बुलंद हौसलों और पुख़्ता इरादे वालों को ही मिलती है

डरकर जीने वाले कल भी पीछे थे, और आज भी पीछे ही हैं...!

(Success is tasted by the ones with courage, high aims and dogged determination...losers always remain losers. )

Benevolence for Blue, Glee for Green, Satisfaction for Saffron...My Real Holi.

"May this Holi fill colours of happiness, prosperity and love in your life"- whatsapp-ed my friend from her new Samsung Note III.

Samsung Note Series...My love for it began about 3 years back when I first laid eyes on the original Samsung Note- the first in the series...and my love only deepened further with Note II and III...

I was just trying to imagine the happiness my friend must be feeling when my brother reminded me that we were supposed to go donate our old stuff to the needy...that's how I had planned to celebrate Holi this time before the thoughts of Note III had clouded my mind.

And so we left.

The Cobbler.

I noticed how deftly he sew the shoes of the gentlemen, mended the heels that carry the models that the gentlemen so love to watch...it was then that I realized the paradox - he wore battered shoes.

The person who makes sure the world walks around in proper, impeccable shoes had those battered pieces of leather for shoes...I gave him an old pair of shoes and a few clothes for his children...The heartfelt smile that followed is something that the 13 mp camera of Note III would not have been able to capture...His sincere words "apki zindagi mei khushi ke rang bhare uparwala" made me feel so little...Though it was I who was wearing branded clothes and shoes but I felt he was richer than me in every sense...Here I was, cribbing over not owning the Samsung Note and there he was, happy with clothes and shoes that I no longer wanted to wear.

He taught me that we should be happy in whatever God has given us...Things are worse for others and are a lot better for us...We have what 90% of the people would do anything to have.

The Construction Workers.

The paradox again - people who build houses for everybody have nothing more than a temporary shelter made up of plastic sheets and bamboo to live...I gave whatever clothes and shoes that were left to the children and wives of the construction workers...One of the children started crying because he got clothes from me but no shoes...I felt so helpless...I chided myself for wishing to have Samsung Note III when there were people who had no houses to sleep in, no shoes to wear and no food to eat.

This was such an eye opener..I realized that I was so fortunate...I have much more than I need to be content...I pledged to stop complaining and giving out more to those who are less fortunate.

I wish to confess that these colours of benevolence, happiness and satisfaction have left indelible marks on my soul...Red, blue and green gulaal might come off after a few days but these colours would not...This was my first real, meaningful Holi...I now understand the significance of the festival...what the hackneyed Holi message of ' filling the colours of joy and happiness' actually means.I hope to continue doing such gestures not just because they make someone else happy but because they make ME feel happy...and alive...and human...and good.

I don't know why I am reminded of one of the poems of ZNMD here,

Dilon mein tum apni

Betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum

Nazar mein khwabon ki
Bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum

Hawa ke jhokon ke jaise
Aazad rehno sikho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise
Lehron mein behna sikho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo
Khole apni bhaayein
Har ek pal ek naya samha
Dekhen yeh nigahaein
Jo apni aankhon mein
Hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum

Dilon mein tum apni
Betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum

Have a meaningful Holi :)

Mere Brother Ki Patient :D

Some tortures are physical...and some are mental...but the one that is both is dental!

Le mot juste !!!
How aptly does this describe the torture that going to a dentist is!

Before you conclude about me being among those reckless children who are brought up with candies and chocolates in mouth but no awareness of personal hygiene, I'd like to clarify that I am exactly in the opposite category.

I am one of those who took "Brush twice daily if you don't want rotten teeth" very,VERY,V.E.R.Y. seriously. Mine is that preposterous case in which I can't sleep without that minty taste of colgate in my mouth.As a kid, I even used to eat colgate sometimes while brushing- this is how far I can go as far as my loyalty towards colgate, I mean brushing, is concerned :P Before you tag me as brand-conscious, I swear by my PUMA collection that I have always been a great fan of closeup ads too...from 'kya aap closeup karte hain, kya dunia se darte hain...aap closeup kyu nahin karte hain' to 'paas aao, paas aao meri saanso mei samaao, paas aao na' I remember all the closeup advertisements.




Do baar brush karne ki keemat...tum kya jaano,cavities baabu ! :( :P
After all those precious minutes that I spent brushing with my unwavering loyalty towards colgate, when I felt a searing pain in my mouth one odd day, I shuddered with fear...the fear that the name ROOT CANAL TREATMENT brings...and then my brother (He is a pedodontist) uttered those dreaded words - you need a dentist.

The next day, I found myself sitting on a dental chair with my mouth open and weird looking instruments in my mouth...The clinic smelled of a strange mixture of mint and chlorine, reminding me of chlorohexidine....the mouthwash that I use...and the memory made me feel worse that I was the only one to take the "brush twice daily" axiom so seriously in whole of my family and yet I was the one sitting here in front of a dentist while everybody else seemed happy with their sparkling teeth flashing at me in mockery.
"Miss Surbhi" said the dentist gently. He looked not more than 35, had a dusky complexion and a pleasant face. I wondered vaguely that he reminded me of some TV actor. "You have two impacted wisdom teeth and pericoronitis...that means that your wisdom teeth didn't erupt fully. The flap of gum on it is becoming site of debris and consequently causing decay. These need to be surgically removed." I didn't know if I was happy that it wasn't RCT or scared out of my wits that it is going to be a minor surgery.

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist’s office would be full of luminous ideas.  ~Mason Cooley

Pun intended. 

What followed the next week was an OPG (orthopantomogram....it's sort of an x-ray of your mouth and is one of the strangest tests that I have ever undergone) and blood tests, a hundred queries from my brother and a thousand reassurances from his side that it was going to be nothing and won't be painful at all. Albeit the fact that I could sense the trick that he always plays on me - he makes everything sound so easy , I , like each time, listened and believed him and became a little calmer.
Lo and behold, I found myself sitting in his hospital where the surgery was going to take place. Even after watching the whole process on YouTube (injections inside your mouth, cutting up the gums, pulling out the tooth, stitching the gums back) I tried to be relaxed and ready for the surgery, not thinking about the bestial injections. But as I waited for my turn, I saw a dentist extracting a tooth. He was injecting anaesthesia inside a patient's mouth which I too was to face minutes later. And then I saw the patient shrieking in pain! The sight and the patient's howling gave me goosebumps and I ran away, out of the room...to my brother where he was doing the same on his patients and told him panicking, "mujhe nahi karaani surgery" and told him about the whole scene. He burst out laughing! He said placidly that my surgery was going to be done by his sir who would do it very gently. After 15 minutes of making me see sense, he was able to send me back for the surgery.

The doctor walked in and his students followed. I was sitting on the dental chair with my mouth open. I suddenly felt like a celebrity as all his students surrounded me to witness the surgery. They all looked so keenly as if it was going to be some spectacular show. Then I realized that they must be the articles. I mean the interns. Because I saw the look of curiosity in their eyes, the same look that I have when I see my senior prepare a balance sheet. But our balance sheets and profits and losses do not cause any pain, said my mind inside me! Before I could come out of these thoughts, the doctor inserted the injection into my mouth and I murmured kill me before I bear this,closing my eyes. Then it was excruciating pain that I felt inside my inner cheek...and then another one. Then the area went numb. I opened my eyes and saw him fumbling with a blade. He was going to cut my gums. I closed my eyes again. And then a cut here, a cut there, I could not feel it but was visualizing it inside my head. And then I felt a strong pressure- He was pulling my tooth out...I felt as if whole of my jaw would break with the pressure. And then suddenly, it was all over. He placed a wad of cotton inside because it was bleeding profusely.
I asked him to show me the tooth. I wanted to see how the thing that was causing me unbearable pain looked. What I saw astonished me.
I had imagined it to look like some monstrous thing but what I saw instead was something very innocent looking. Shining white in the light, it was God's brilliance at its best. so simple, yet so efficient and perfect. Like everything that God has made, it was a delicate blend of sheer innocence and perfection.I felt a sudden urge to hold it and keep it safe and then I realized how ridiculous I was being.

And then I was free to go. I was told to eat loads of ice cream (the only bright side of the whole process!)

I must confess that I always thought my brother's profession to be so...um different and something beyond my understanding because I always felt why would anybody want to go to the extent of bearing so much pain in getting things done to your teeth. But after being one of his patients now, I feel dentistry is the future because every other person is suffering from some or the other tooth ailment.He is going to earn more than a CA, they charge you a bomb !

I'd like to conclude with this hackneyed but very useful advice- 

which roughly translates to BRUSH TWICE DAILY !

Ek Pal Niche Nazar hai, Ek Pal Upar Nazar Hai.

If you really sincerely want something, nature grants you- I'd heard a lot of people bandying about this philosophy but never could relate to it till last week.

Having reached my nodus tollens (The realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don't understand), there was always an unfamiliar frustration building up inside me. The insane questions like 'why am I here' or 'what am I supposed to do with my life' kept bugging me ALL.THE.TIME.

As you get older, you find that life begins to wear you down. Doesn't matter who you are or what you do, it happens. Experience, time, events - they all conspire against you to steal away your energy, to erode your confidence, to make you question things you wouldn't have given a second thought to when you were young. It happens gradually, a chipping away that you don't even notice at first, and then one day it's there. You wake up and you just don't have the fire anymore. When your mind keeps hankering about the past, it gets stuck in negativity and begins to rot...and that was what I felt was happening to me..

And when it reached the apex, when I could not handle it alone myself, I surrendered..I asked for help...and it was showered on me by The Almighty in a jiffy.

My office people planned for Maa Vaishno Devi Yatra...It is believed that nobody can undertake the yatra until Maa wishes him/her to...but what I didn't know was that She hears the plea instantly before even you voice it out...in my case, She definitely did...

Situated at a height of 5300 ft. the site is located inside a cave a midst the folds of the Trikuta Bhagwati hill in the state of J&K. This cave temple is at  distance of 61 Kms from jammu and the last 13 Kms of the yatra have to be walked on foot. Once at the entrance to the cave, the path turns into a narrow tunnel with Charan Ganga running through it. The pilgrim has to wade through this to reach the sanctum sanctorum.

Each step that I took for the arduous yet beautiful journey, each drop of sweat that fell while walking,dancing the way up to the top of the hill felt heavenly...because bit by bit, it was relieving me of my frustration, my eternal restlessness and negativity...It was like somebody was untying the knots inside , opening me to my own self...yes, my muscles ached, my legs screamed to simply stop and sit down but something also kept me going...I don't know it was the hum of "jai maata di" giving me energy to keep going or the Maata herself pulling me towards bliss...

As I walked step by step, I was reminded of my my favorite verses of one of the poems by Harivansh Rai Bachchan - 

एक कोने में हृदय के आग तेरे जल रही है

देखने को मग तुझे जलना पड़ेगा ही मुसाफिर

साँस चलती है तुझे चलना पड़ेगा ही मुसाफिर

The whole journey epitomises faith...If anybody doesn't believe in power of faith, he/she ought to undertake this mind-boggling yatra...Everybody and anybody you meet on your way towards bhavan says "Jai Maata Di". There are dholwalahs playing dhol and everybody just joins in the celebration of "Jai Maata Di", the travelers on a cosmic journey,swirling and dancing in the whirlpools of infinity who have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to share this joy.

It is sheer bliss..You feel that people,circumstances, events suddenly matter no  more and all that is there is the pure truth of this enigmatic higher power which is guiding you, supporting you, giving you a hand...

Since lakhs of devotees visit the place, the old cave is generally kept closed. But this universe is big,vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes—very rarely—impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. When we reached the bhavan, the old cave was opened for the pilgrims..It was so so overwhelming...All my mental and physical fatigue suddenly disappeared...All my worldly worries seemed to be vanquishing by the power of faith...The Charan Ganga soothing my sore body and the grace of Almighty soothing my aching soul, it was an ineffable feeling. All that I could manage was a heartfelt gratitude.

There are umpteen number of memories associated with the journey for which words won't suffice even if I tried articulating them. But I learnt one mantra which this Yatra taught me - Just believe in Almighty, Know that He is there and He will take care of everything for you.

Next we went to PatniTop and NathaTop. And it was a dream come true...I always fantasized about walking down narrow roads of a mountain with snow on both the sides.

It was such a filmy scene...from top to bottom, from left to right,wherever I looked, I saw cotton-like snow...So silent, so beautiful...clear blue sky on top of me, bright white snow all around me...Utopian beauty...whoever says heaven doesn't exist, should visit this place...It left me in awe with beauty that God has created around us...It silenced my mind to the core, it gave deep rest to my soul which I was yearning for so many years...I felt in harmony with nature, with myself.

We spent hours sliding and mindlessly playing in the snow...Climbing on top of the mountain and then sliding back together was indescribable fun...

I finally understand what Ranbir meant when he said - "Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon ... bus rukna nahi chahta"

P.S.

1. I want to thank my Sir because of whom the plan of this trip got accomplished without any hindrance...and also for being so understanding and patient and bearing the nuisance that all of us were and also want to apologize on behalf of all of us if we caused any trouble unintentionally.

2. I want to thank my friends who made this trip memorable for me. The time that I spent with you all is something I am going to cherish for lifetime. Chirag Grover and Shubhangi Kapoor need special mention here for it was on their insistence that I went for this trip.