Expecto Patronum

Call it guilt, fear, anger or hatred. Essentially it means your thoughts and emotions are working against you.

                                                                    -Sadhguru


Some people are better at controlling their thoughts while some struggle to keep negativity at bay. With the onset of corona, a lot of people have come face to face with their mental health issues- something that is always swept under the carpet in India. How many of you have been mocked at by your friends for voicing out whenever you felt low with -
"Chill kar, tune zindagi mei stress lene ke alawa kuch kia hai ajtak?"  
or 
"Life ko enjoy kia kar, ye depression shpression kuch nahi hota" 
or 
"emotional fool mat ban, only weak people do that. Get up and face your battles."

And yet, we have increasingly high number of people suffering from mental ill-health and it goes unnoticed because of the shame and stigma associated with it.

Closer home, Deepika Padukone came out on her fight with depression at the pinnacle of her successful career. Imagine the kind of depression failure would inflict if success can lead to depression!
And now, we lost a fine actor in Sushant Singh Rajput allegedly to depression. 

It is a ridiculous but general belief that introverts and quiet people fall prey to depression easily. With my personal experience, I can tell you that surrounding yourself with wrong kind of people kills you mentally than being on your own. Before judging yourself as depressed, make sure you're not surrounded by idiots who, like parasites, suck out the emotional strength out of you. 
One of my 'good' friends rebuffed me with, "You seek sympathy" when I once tried to talk about how I was breaking down. This was years back and yet it stayed etched into my mind and it also led me to believe that there is no market for your honest thoughts and feelings. That was the end of me seeking support from people around me because my mind translates it to sympathy to this day! So such experiences in the past often tend to create stereotypes in our minds. Everybody in the media is saying that Sushant should have talked out, reached out to people. Who knows he might have tried to reach out? But unfortunately to the wrong ones, the 'you seek sympathy' kind who sucked out his last bit of will power and the poor soul snapped?

1. We MUST understand that acceptance is the foremost requirement in any issue. If somebody reaches out to you or shows symptoms of withdrawal or any erratic behaviour whatsoever, it's of utmost importance to recognise and accept that it EXISTS and understand that it is not like usual mood swings we face on a daily basis but something that is dying inside bit by bit. 

2. Do NOT attempt stupidity by suggesting the person to simply ignore it or try to keep oneself distracted or the worst of all, blaming him/her for being weak. I mean, if you have toothache, do you suggest the patient to ignore it or distract himself from pain by partying or the most ludicrous - be brave and keep on fighting with the pain? NO! the tooth has to be treated and with the right hands. Why can't people understand this with emotional pain? Emotional pain runs way deeper than the roots of teeth.

3. Sometimes it's the toxic environment around you that takes toll on your mind. It might be family or office or the people you hang out with. While you can always change your office or people around you, family is not something you can change using a magic wand. As adults, we seek in our relationships what we lacked in our childhood. So a troubled childhood often leads to dysfunctional adults. In such cases, one can only pray that these dysfunctional adults do not carry on the legacy and further create toxic environment for their own children!

4. You may protect yourself from physical ailments like corona with a 20 second handwash but protecting your mental as well as emotional health is a different matter in itself. It is a delicate matter, a dangerous weapon if in wrong hands... an invisible boundary you may unknowingly cross and find yourself groping for a way out...CHOOSE wisely who you reach out to. It will make all the difference in the world. Do not be scared of cutting ties with people who make you feel like trash. If your boat is sinking, throw away the extra baggage without a second thought.

5. Mother Teresa said this on apathy once that the greatest disease today is being unwanted, unloved and uncared for. Physical diseases may be cured with medicine but the only cure for loneliness, despair and hopelessness is Love. 
As the famous song goes by - if you give a little love, you can get a little love of your own!

This post is for Sushant Singh Rajput who stirred something within my heart and soul with his honest work. I would conclude by a dialogue from his movie - 

Hum haar jeet, success failure mei itna ulajh gaye hain, ki zindagi jeena bhool gaye hain. Zindagi mei agar kuch sabse zyada important hai toh wo hai khud zindagi.

RIP Sushant. 

P.S. Those who did not understand the caption, it's a spell in Harry Potter which conjures up a tangible positive-energy shield and protects you from the Dementors (happiness-sucking fiends). Literally, it translates to 'I wait for the Guradian'

Life in the time of Corona

Corona has taken over the world. Even Prince Charles has contracted corona. Is anybody safe during these times?

I don't need to mention how bad the situation is, the media is already covering all of it. I am here to talk about how life has changed with this pandemic. Although coming from a person who already liked being under quarantine, this isn't going to sound much... I mean, I already hated going out of house or meeting people.

Since we are under 21days of lockdown, let me enlist 21 ways in which life is different in the time of corona. Of course, all of this is my personal opinion and written in good humour so you need not agree with any of it. These are listed in order of gravity of the matter i.e. from less serious to more -

1. I have learnt all the household chores in absence of any domestic help. I have become a total marriageable material :P So any secret admirers, now is the time to make your move because everything is fair in love and war and this is REAL war.

2. I have watched so much Netflix/Prime that I find it boring now. I even watched this long promised movie to one of my forever- favourite persons - Kesari ! I am now planning to watch B.R. Chopra's Mahabharat.

3. India has watched so much Netflix during lockdown, the data companies have had to reduce their speed from 40mpbs to 8mpbs. Of course, this was bound to happen with Pornhub premium going free! :P But seriously, if this is what makes people sit at home then be it!

4. I have finished reading 2 novels. And I am not talking about re-reading Harry Potter here!

5. Life is better as people are all locked inside so they can't visit me or complain that I don't visit them. :D

6. Make-up handicapped people like me have all the time in the world to learn basic make-up. I have learnt to apply eye liner now. Although I blotch up the left eye a bit but I still have 20 days left to fine-tune it. But secret admirers from point#1, don't expect me to be all dolled up on a daily basis even if I perfect it because laziness is something that I cannot take out of my DNA.

7. With no salon and beauty services available, no female is in any case going to set out of house. So as long as the salons are shut , the government need not worry about girls breaking the curfew. I am pretty sure, the moment lockdown is lifted, the salons are going to see a mad rush.

8. No office and no infuriating, sickening people from work to be seen and smiled at every morning! Apart from the fact that I am foregoing my salary, I like this the best of all things that this lockdown has brought.

9. Oh, I forgot the most obvious one! I am writing this blog post because I am feeling sane, now that I don't have the stress related to the point mentioned above! And I am sure, anybody who reads this blog would do so because they don't have anything else to do. :P

10. I had read somewhere years back that one takes 21 days to build a new habit. So I thought why not utilise this lockdown period for some value addition - learning a new language on Duolingo or may be study a bit for personal growth. Till now, nada progress so far in this department. And I have a strong feeling that this number is not going to increase. It would take more than Corona to do away with my habit of procrastination, I suppose.

11. I think it is heartening to see India fighting this pandemic with unity. The gratitude applause at 5pm on 22 March 2020 is something that is going to resonate within me for a long time. I was under the impression that only cricket world cup could unite Indians but I can proudly say that we can stand together when it comes to matters of national importance.

12. And yet, there are some of the 'cool dudes' who are venturing out for no reason. I am amazed at the innovative punishments that the authorities have come up with -

13. Then there are some REAL cool dudes. Corona has somehow helped ensure the gender equation. Men are spotted doing the dishes and cleaning the house. Here's a picture that cricketer Shikhar Dhawan shared of himself - 

Of course, there are countless other men helping their wives/mothers in all ways possible. Celebrities have been sharing their pictures as they do their own work. Katrina Kaif is getting popular doing household chores. 

14. The GoI has been announcing repeatedly that it is constantly working to ensure continuous supply of essential services and requesting people not to hoard things. But people don't want to pay heed and have been seen buying 100kgs of rice and wheat. And then there are people like daily wage earners who don't have any money to feed their children for the day. People, please listen to the authorities because they are working round the clock to ensure the basic necessities are available to all. 

15. This is the time we appreciate those who are out there risking their lives for us, by simply staying at home. How difficult is it to sit with your family and eat/sleep/watch television?

16. There are a few of my friends/acquaintances who are stuck away from their families. I wonder what it would feel like in time of crisis like this. Some theories propagate that China did this deliberately to break the bone of world economy and be a superpower. Well, if it is true then they are cruel and cold-hearted like Lord Voldemort for tearing apart so many families. I mean, people are dying. Is money/power/fame more important than life?

17. The GoI has had to announce relief packages for poorest of the poor. Both monetary and food. This extra expenditure is surely going to set back our economy but unlike China, we believe in value of life. I am positive we can all recover and bounce back with greater zeal ti build a better world.

18. Life has slowed down as we have stopped running behind material things and have come to realise that in the end all that matters is family. We have come to bare basics and realised that it is possible to live without luxuries. Office and work are not everything. Neither is money. We have been given a chance to appreciate this gift of life.

19. When was the last time you sat down with your whole family for a meal before this lockdown? I don't know but Corona reminds me of the Surf Excel tagline - agar daag lagne se kuch acha hota hai toh daag ache hain. I don't mean to say that Corona is good! What I mean is that now that this pandemic has hit, may be we can take something good out of it - placing people over things, love and friendship over PPTs and money, family over boss, health over work.

20. With human intervention withdrawn, nature is thriving. It appears that the Earth is recuperating as Corona hits the reset button - pollution levels have gone down, dolphins and swans have returned, water is clearer and the skies are bluest of the blue.

21. I think we were crossing the mark and the planet is retaliating in its own way. We were making life difficult for all other species and were flouting the planet's rule of coexistence. Perhaps this is Universe speaking to us to mend our ways if we don't want to be wiped off from the surface of Earth. When all of this gets over, I hope we start afresh and no more mess with the ways of nature.

How has your life changed in the time of Corona?