Disclaimer : This post has been written by a dejected girl who has just had to part away with her long tresses at the hands of a stupid hairdresser. There is no intention to offend anybody and marketing or defamation of any product is nowhere intended.
Among all the foulest creatures that walk the surface of the Earth, the evilest of them all is the hairdresser. He/She has a power that even Lord Voldemort cannot match; to make you feel horrible about your hair. Let's have a look at what a harrowing experience it is to go for a haircut -
1. Alliteration D
One may wonder that if we take so much pain to grow our tresses, wouldn't we want to take care of it and keep it well groomed? But no! These inconsiderate hairdressers drone on like an irritating Justin Bieber song on loop - "dry, dull, damaged... dry, dull, damaged"
(I know I have damaged hair, why do you think I am here ?! It's not my fault that the pollution in my city is outrageously high and the weather extremely out of hands!)
2. Which Shampoo?
It should be made a criminal offence under Ethical Code of Hairdressing to pester someone with this question. How does it matter which shampoo I use? Everybody is aware that all the shampoos do the same job no matter how fancy the name or how exorbitant the price. Of course, it is all part of the marketing gimmick - they make you question your choice of shampoo and then try to sell their own preferred brand of shampoo.
3. Don't you oil your hair?
Another frustrating question. For a person who was made to oil her hair everyday of school despite the mockery it brought, the question is insulting. Even as an adult, I diligently oil my hair before every head-wash because I know that if I don't, my hair will resemble the guy from the center-shock advertisement.
4. Hair Spa le lo, Keratin treatment le lo!
Hair spa is supposedly the elixir for damaged hair! I, personally, find the entire concept a baloney because how can putting more chemicals treat your damaged hair? Another marketing strategy to mint out more money out of such treatments. But the fact remains, everybody is raving about hair spa these days but I find no difference in their hair quality !
5. 1 inch = 3 inches.
This is perhaps the most infuriating part of my visit to a salon. These people have a flawed scale and notwithstanding my constant plea for trimming not more than 1 inch of hair, they happily chop away 3 inches if they are merciful and more if they are sadistic bastards. And then, they have the audacity to ask - "is the length okay?"
Arre bhai, if I say it is not okay, will you paste my trimmed hair back with fevicol ?! Nincompoops.
I would like to mention that I have got a lot of compliments for my new haircut but nothing seems to be alleviating my grief of parting with 3 inches of my hair; I am currently planning to visit the Himalayas and seek nirvana plus those sadhu babas have long hair and can guide me how to grow my hair back faster.
The girl with short hair
