The title was not supposed to be so preposterous but then I got pissed and a mad and a frustrated Surbhi Makkar is a dangerous specie, everyone is aware of that fact.
You may ask why I was frustrated in the first place.
TL;DR : CA
The whole story : I have my exams coming up. And the course is so vast that it would put Pacific Ocean to shame. And I was forced to do this balderdash called Advanced IT Training. Some notification was passed this year that made it mandatory for students appearing for their final exams in Nov 2015 to do this training before the end of July. There are just three centers providing the same (Initially there was just one but thankfully it was extended later to three centers). Consequently, there was a mad rush to register for the same as everyone wanted to do it and get over with it asap. I and my friend left early in the morning to avoid wasting time waiting in the queue. But when we reached the institute, we found around 50 people standing in the queue already. We waited for the office to open while the queue behind us got longer, reminding me of Rajiv Chowk Metro Station. Nevertheless, we got our forms after waiting for 1.5 hours. But the battle had just begun. There was another queue for the submission of the forms. We stood for hours in the sultry heat, drenched in sweat, badly tanned, terribly hungry, (in my case alone) eating back my favourite brand of swear words, and finally got ourselves registered for, according to me, a training of no use whatsoever. We were again supposed to come to the institute to collect the confirmation later. 2 days, 48 hours down the drain.
Finally, the training began and ended after 25 days. I don't even have the patience to write about the training - the sheer waste of time and energy it was. Not to mention the two module tests, a project and a group presentation, an online test that I was supposed to clear to get the certificate that stated that I had successfully completed the Advanced (I)rrational (T)otal (T)ime-waste.
Points to be noted :
- The humongous amount of course and 25 days of nonsense of the institute's tyranny right before the exams.
- The unbearable heat and humidity and pollution and sweat resulting in worsening of my skin eruption.
So, I got the certificate.
Now, I had a social obligation coming up. Albeit the fact that I simply hate to attend any social gatherings, I knew I wouldn't miss this one. It was the birthday party of my favourite person in the world. But I also knew of the mindless questions that awaited me there. I think I should give a bit of background here first -
Last year, I got this allergy which I thought was because of my hectic routine and the pollution that I faced daily while on audit in Okhla (those who have seen this industrial area would understand) but it exacerbated to a major skin eruption and I had to consult a dermatologist. She attributed it to stress. It turned out to be pretty serious; I am still recuperating - I got red marks all over my face.
More than the painful eruptions, I was sick of people looking at the pimples while talking to me. I ain't the one to fuss over looks much but wherever I went, I got not a hello or hi but a lot of stares at my infestation along with "what's with the pimples/ try this try that/ this doctor is the best/ yuck, what have you done to your face/ ew, you look absolutely gross" and the list is endless. I felt totally helpless. I hate explaining or answering questions that are unnecessary but with this eruption, I found myself bombarded with useless queries ranging from my diet to make-up (make-up? seriously? Surbhi Makkar and make-up are oxymoron and my so-called make-up box includes just a sunscreen. But how many people do I keep explaining this to? It was frustrating.) and of course, suggestions like cleanup, facepacks and stuff (If advising could earn revenue, India would have the highest GDP; everybody is busy advising everybody here.)
But I admit that I tried a few rational 'suggestions' out of desperation - I included Safi and Aloe Vera juice in my diet, bid adieu to sugar in my bournvita, started having green tea. But my coaching and office and stuff in general wreck havoc and things kept going out of hands. It was awful.
But now that coaching got over and I didn't have such a hectic schedule, I thought it would clear up. It WAS clearing up but then this IT training happened and I had to celebrate such a 'pimpled' birthday. Everybody, every single soul (including my family) kept pointing out at the pimples : even if it was out of concern, I hated the way their eyes moved over the pimples. Well, everybody except one person. My favourite person. I am his favourite too, you see. It didn't matter to him that I had acne all over my face, Manan still wanted to play with me, talk to me without asking or wondering about the pimples. And people ask me why I absolutely adore this kid ; He has been the apple of my eyes since the day he was born. So, I knew I would not miss the special day that God sent me this little gift even if it meant that I had to endure shit from the guests present in the party.
It was a kids' party but there were a few relatives present too that included the dreaded creature - Typical Punjabi Aunties (referred to as TPA hereinafter)
[ what I think inside my head] ; what I say
TPA: Surbhi!
S [why the fuck, did you spot me] Namaste AuntyJi
TPA: Haww, ye ki keeta tu chehre nu?! (What have you done to your face?)
S [yeah, I bred pimples in my secret lab and then put them on my face and infected them with a virus so that anybody who points out at them shall suffer the same fate] : CA ki tension hai, Auntyji, aur kuch nahi.
TPA : toh CA ki tension kya aise bahar nikal ri hai? Doctor nu kyu ni vikahaya tu? Chehra toh dekh kya haal ho rakha hai! Shaadi kaun karega aise terse?! CA kar ke kya khaali baithegi ghar pe?! Multaani Mitti laga, haldi chandan laga, aise toh sara chehre pe nishaan reh jayenge.
S [ Virat Kohli inspired @^#*@)!%!&@ ; how do they link everything to shaadi? I have always been amazed by their talent] hanji, Auntyji... chal rahi hai medicine.
TPA : oily khana band kar de...chal hun bhatura pass kar!
#1facepalm
I have been enduring such crap since July last year. Imagine my frustration...
Dear People (esp TPA)
Acne is deeper than it appears; it comes with an emotional trauma. Try NOT to do these things if you ever meet an acne- inflicted soul -
- Looking at the pimples and not the eyes when the person is talking. It makes them highly conscious and they start feeling crappy.
- Start suggesting doctors and treatments without their asking you for the same.
- Ask them stupid questions like - Don't you wash your face?
- Start tormenting them with things like - the pimples would leave permanent scars.
If you really want to help, just try to act like you can't see the pimples even if they are highly conspicuous. Try to see the person beyond his/her face - there is more to a person than just looks. If they talk about it to you at all, say encouraging things - there is improvement, it will soon clear up. Be like Manan - accept people without judging them based on their looks or attire or anything for that matter.
Speaking of Manan and his birthday party, I can't help but share this anecdote -
My 4 years old niece Agamya telling me how to pose for a pic -
"B tujhe toh pose krna bhi nahi aata. Aise karte hain *she pouts* dekha nahi hai kya tune sari good girls phone ke aage aise kr ri hoti hai"
#2facepalm
P.s. I shall add her pouting-pictures once I have them. :D
