Mere Brother Ki Patient :D

Some tortures are physical...and some are mental...but the one that is both is dental!

Le mot juste !!!
How aptly does this describe the torture that going to a dentist is!

Before you conclude about me being among those reckless children who are brought up with candies and chocolates in mouth but no awareness of personal hygiene, I'd like to clarify that I am exactly in the opposite category.

I am one of those who took "Brush twice daily if you don't want rotten teeth" very,VERY,V.E.R.Y. seriously. Mine is that preposterous case in which I can't sleep without that minty taste of colgate in my mouth.As a kid, I even used to eat colgate sometimes while brushing- this is how far I can go as far as my loyalty towards colgate, I mean brushing, is concerned :P Before you tag me as brand-conscious, I swear by my PUMA collection that I have always been a great fan of closeup ads too...from 'kya aap closeup karte hain, kya dunia se darte hain...aap closeup kyu nahin karte hain' to 'paas aao, paas aao meri saanso mei samaao, paas aao na' I remember all the closeup advertisements.




Do baar brush karne ki keemat...tum kya jaano,cavities baabu ! :( :P
After all those precious minutes that I spent brushing with my unwavering loyalty towards colgate, when I felt a searing pain in my mouth one odd day, I shuddered with fear...the fear that the name ROOT CANAL TREATMENT brings...and then my brother (He is a pedodontist) uttered those dreaded words - you need a dentist.

The next day, I found myself sitting on a dental chair with my mouth open and weird looking instruments in my mouth...The clinic smelled of a strange mixture of mint and chlorine, reminding me of chlorohexidine....the mouthwash that I use...and the memory made me feel worse that I was the only one to take the "brush twice daily" axiom so seriously in whole of my family and yet I was the one sitting here in front of a dentist while everybody else seemed happy with their sparkling teeth flashing at me in mockery.
"Miss Surbhi" said the dentist gently. He looked not more than 35, had a dusky complexion and a pleasant face. I wondered vaguely that he reminded me of some TV actor. "You have two impacted wisdom teeth and pericoronitis...that means that your wisdom teeth didn't erupt fully. The flap of gum on it is becoming site of debris and consequently causing decay. These need to be surgically removed." I didn't know if I was happy that it wasn't RCT or scared out of my wits that it is going to be a minor surgery.

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist’s office would be full of luminous ideas.  ~Mason Cooley

Pun intended. 

What followed the next week was an OPG (orthopantomogram....it's sort of an x-ray of your mouth and is one of the strangest tests that I have ever undergone) and blood tests, a hundred queries from my brother and a thousand reassurances from his side that it was going to be nothing and won't be painful at all. Albeit the fact that I could sense the trick that he always plays on me - he makes everything sound so easy , I , like each time, listened and believed him and became a little calmer.
Lo and behold, I found myself sitting in his hospital where the surgery was going to take place. Even after watching the whole process on YouTube (injections inside your mouth, cutting up the gums, pulling out the tooth, stitching the gums back) I tried to be relaxed and ready for the surgery, not thinking about the bestial injections. But as I waited for my turn, I saw a dentist extracting a tooth. He was injecting anaesthesia inside a patient's mouth which I too was to face minutes later. And then I saw the patient shrieking in pain! The sight and the patient's howling gave me goosebumps and I ran away, out of the room...to my brother where he was doing the same on his patients and told him panicking, "mujhe nahi karaani surgery" and told him about the whole scene. He burst out laughing! He said placidly that my surgery was going to be done by his sir who would do it very gently. After 15 minutes of making me see sense, he was able to send me back for the surgery.

The doctor walked in and his students followed. I was sitting on the dental chair with my mouth open. I suddenly felt like a celebrity as all his students surrounded me to witness the surgery. They all looked so keenly as if it was going to be some spectacular show. Then I realized that they must be the articles. I mean the interns. Because I saw the look of curiosity in their eyes, the same look that I have when I see my senior prepare a balance sheet. But our balance sheets and profits and losses do not cause any pain, said my mind inside me! Before I could come out of these thoughts, the doctor inserted the injection into my mouth and I murmured kill me before I bear this,closing my eyes. Then it was excruciating pain that I felt inside my inner cheek...and then another one. Then the area went numb. I opened my eyes and saw him fumbling with a blade. He was going to cut my gums. I closed my eyes again. And then a cut here, a cut there, I could not feel it but was visualizing it inside my head. And then I felt a strong pressure- He was pulling my tooth out...I felt as if whole of my jaw would break with the pressure. And then suddenly, it was all over. He placed a wad of cotton inside because it was bleeding profusely.
I asked him to show me the tooth. I wanted to see how the thing that was causing me unbearable pain looked. What I saw astonished me.
I had imagined it to look like some monstrous thing but what I saw instead was something very innocent looking. Shining white in the light, it was God's brilliance at its best. so simple, yet so efficient and perfect. Like everything that God has made, it was a delicate blend of sheer innocence and perfection.I felt a sudden urge to hold it and keep it safe and then I realized how ridiculous I was being.

And then I was free to go. I was told to eat loads of ice cream (the only bright side of the whole process!)

I must confess that I always thought my brother's profession to be so...um different and something beyond my understanding because I always felt why would anybody want to go to the extent of bearing so much pain in getting things done to your teeth. But after being one of his patients now, I feel dentistry is the future because every other person is suffering from some or the other tooth ailment.He is going to earn more than a CA, they charge you a bomb !

I'd like to conclude with this hackneyed but very useful advice- 

which roughly translates to BRUSH TWICE DAILY !

Ek Pal Niche Nazar hai, Ek Pal Upar Nazar Hai.

If you really sincerely want something, nature grants you- I'd heard a lot of people bandying about this philosophy but never could relate to it till last week.

Having reached my nodus tollens (The realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don't understand), there was always an unfamiliar frustration building up inside me. The insane questions like 'why am I here' or 'what am I supposed to do with my life' kept bugging me ALL.THE.TIME.

As you get older, you find that life begins to wear you down. Doesn't matter who you are or what you do, it happens. Experience, time, events - they all conspire against you to steal away your energy, to erode your confidence, to make you question things you wouldn't have given a second thought to when you were young. It happens gradually, a chipping away that you don't even notice at first, and then one day it's there. You wake up and you just don't have the fire anymore. When your mind keeps hankering about the past, it gets stuck in negativity and begins to rot...and that was what I felt was happening to me..

And when it reached the apex, when I could not handle it alone myself, I surrendered..I asked for help...and it was showered on me by The Almighty in a jiffy.

My office people planned for Maa Vaishno Devi Yatra...It is believed that nobody can undertake the yatra until Maa wishes him/her to...but what I didn't know was that She hears the plea instantly before even you voice it out...in my case, She definitely did...

Situated at a height of 5300 ft. the site is located inside a cave a midst the folds of the Trikuta Bhagwati hill in the state of J&K. This cave temple is at  distance of 61 Kms from jammu and the last 13 Kms of the yatra have to be walked on foot. Once at the entrance to the cave, the path turns into a narrow tunnel with Charan Ganga running through it. The pilgrim has to wade through this to reach the sanctum sanctorum.

Each step that I took for the arduous yet beautiful journey, each drop of sweat that fell while walking,dancing the way up to the top of the hill felt heavenly...because bit by bit, it was relieving me of my frustration, my eternal restlessness and negativity...It was like somebody was untying the knots inside , opening me to my own self...yes, my muscles ached, my legs screamed to simply stop and sit down but something also kept me going...I don't know it was the hum of "jai maata di" giving me energy to keep going or the Maata herself pulling me towards bliss...

As I walked step by step, I was reminded of my my favorite verses of one of the poems by Harivansh Rai Bachchan - 

एक कोने में हृदय के आग तेरे जल रही है

देखने को मग तुझे जलना पड़ेगा ही मुसाफिर

साँस चलती है तुझे चलना पड़ेगा ही मुसाफिर

The whole journey epitomises faith...If anybody doesn't believe in power of faith, he/she ought to undertake this mind-boggling yatra...Everybody and anybody you meet on your way towards bhavan says "Jai Maata Di". There are dholwalahs playing dhol and everybody just joins in the celebration of "Jai Maata Di", the travelers on a cosmic journey,swirling and dancing in the whirlpools of infinity who have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to share this joy.

It is sheer bliss..You feel that people,circumstances, events suddenly matter no  more and all that is there is the pure truth of this enigmatic higher power which is guiding you, supporting you, giving you a hand...

Since lakhs of devotees visit the place, the old cave is generally kept closed. But this universe is big,vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes—very rarely—impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. When we reached the bhavan, the old cave was opened for the pilgrims..It was so so overwhelming...All my mental and physical fatigue suddenly disappeared...All my worldly worries seemed to be vanquishing by the power of faith...The Charan Ganga soothing my sore body and the grace of Almighty soothing my aching soul, it was an ineffable feeling. All that I could manage was a heartfelt gratitude.

There are umpteen number of memories associated with the journey for which words won't suffice even if I tried articulating them. But I learnt one mantra which this Yatra taught me - Just believe in Almighty, Know that He is there and He will take care of everything for you.

Next we went to PatniTop and NathaTop. And it was a dream come true...I always fantasized about walking down narrow roads of a mountain with snow on both the sides.

It was such a filmy scene...from top to bottom, from left to right,wherever I looked, I saw cotton-like snow...So silent, so beautiful...clear blue sky on top of me, bright white snow all around me...Utopian beauty...whoever says heaven doesn't exist, should visit this place...It left me in awe with beauty that God has created around us...It silenced my mind to the core, it gave deep rest to my soul which I was yearning for so many years...I felt in harmony with nature, with myself.

We spent hours sliding and mindlessly playing in the snow...Climbing on top of the mountain and then sliding back together was indescribable fun...

I finally understand what Ranbir meant when he said - "Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon ... bus rukna nahi chahta"

P.S.

1. I want to thank my Sir because of whom the plan of this trip got accomplished without any hindrance...and also for being so understanding and patient and bearing the nuisance that all of us were and also want to apologize on behalf of all of us if we caused any trouble unintentionally.

2. I want to thank my friends who made this trip memorable for me. The time that I spent with you all is something I am going to cherish for lifetime. Chirag Grover and Shubhangi Kapoor need special mention here for it was on their insistence that I went for this trip.